Page 953 in Cocoyashi Village
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Average Rating: 4.8
Number of people who have voted: 5

By the same author as Grand Line 3.5



25th Jan 2017, 1:21 AM

Oh, my. I had completely forgotten about this part of the story and nearly suffocated myself from laughing too hard.

Ummm... tell a story about something happening in-character that made the whole party crack up?

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25th Jan 2017, 7:17 AM
"Seeing Things His Way..."

After a particularly harrowing fight against a necromancer and his super creepy flesh golem, the party I was running the game for discovered a clearly magical tome in a language none of them recognized, let alone knew.

One of the PCs was an Apostle of Peace, and the player played him up as this wide-eyed innocent who said really weird stuff without really noticing it. There was already a precedent for that, but this session was where it really got clinched.

So the party is standing around trying to figure out what to do with this evil magic book. Cue the Apostle of Peace suggesting to "Cut out the necromancers eyes and look at the book through them" as a means of reading it. The entire party was literally speechless for about five seconds.

The entire rest of that campaign was people suggesting we use dead enemies body parts to solve various puzzles.

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20th Nov 2017, 4:42 PM

I don't know about solving puzzle, but dead enemies body part work well to obstruct gears,cogs and mechanism.

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25th Jan 2017, 12:26 PM
"Idont care I'm a tree"

we were playing dnd 4e, i was dming and one player was playing a druide who's race was basicaly a sentient plant, and whenever someone asked him why he would rather sleep outside rather then the inn or when an enemy was attacking him, he would say "I dont care! I'm a tree!", it was middly amusing, then they faced cultists of Tiamat, they made there way through waves of minions and then the head cultists and all of his minions acolytes prepared something, "i dont care! I'm a tree." they were chanting in draconic, "I dont care! I'm a tree!" they pulled their hands back, "i dont care! I'm a tree!" and they sent a torent of flammes at the party, "I DONT CARE! I'M A-oh wait." the table bursts in laughter.

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8th Apr 2018, 9:29 PM

Thank you that was the most laughs I have gotten in months

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25th Jan 2017, 1:18 PM
"Wait... the wolf suplexed the statue?"

So we were playing a two group campaign, one DM was in charge of one group, another DM was in charge of our group, we were the "good" party, and they were our opposite number and members of the various "evil" races of phaeraun (with the exception of the moon elf... granted I was the exception in our group as playing the shadow dragone "drow" who was raised by moon elves (long story))

Well inevitably both groups came face to face and we were midfight against each other when the actual boss showed up (flesh golem) that began wailing on the fighter and paladin to get their attention, after some hasty lore checks to figure things out by the party clerics stated that it seems the flesh golem was being manifested by the statue/throne thing in the center of the room next to the bottomless pit. About that time their ranger who's been looking over all our character sheets realized his wolf had the highest strength check in a dashing act of madness orders his dog to topple the statue over the side, causing the flesh golem to fall apart once it'd fallen over.

And somehow it works.

Everyone at the table is dead quiet before the gnome wizard states the obvious "...the dog just suplexed a granite statue..... the hell man?"

Everyone busts up laughing and we then started negotiating among the parties to kinda get the story of the others and what they faced.

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25th Jan 2017, 11:00 PM
""You're deep throating the ghost?""

So the party decided to pick a fight with an easily angered cursed elf wizard ghost and it was going well (For me, the GM) until the ghost decided to possess the sorcerer and use him as a meat shield against his allies. As was intended, the ghost departed it's vessel and forced the sorcerer to take the brunt of the paladin's attack. Then it was the Sorcerer's turn.
"I'm gonna suck the ghost back in."
"I want to re-swallow the ghost. It's mine now."
So after a complete breakdown of intelligible discussion and a brief recover from the laughing the combat then collapsed into a spectral rodeo that ended with the sorcerer acquiring a pet ghost.

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25th Jan 2017, 2:36 AM
"Tell a Story: Too G D Stupid"

LazerWulf has the right idea. Sometimes a player, or their character (or both) does something that is just so stupid that it can't even be treated as anything less than hilarious by the people around them.

Share a time when you got the lulz at the gaming table.

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25th Jan 2017, 3:23 AM

Well, there was the time - actually, last session for the M&M session I help run and also am a player in - where we basically had our city's equivalent of the mafia take over town hall/the mayor's office... for a family reunion. They didn't actually have any malicious intent; they were literally just there with food and drinks to celebrate things. Of course, this being a SUPERHERO campaign, this mafia family has superpowers - their particular brand of superpowers being the ability to summon things, ALA Jojo's Bizarre Adventure.

One such member of this family, instead of a 'stand' so to speak, simply had the ability to summon copies of himself. And so, being the trolling shithead of a GM that I am, I decided to fill both bathrooms with this guy's duplicates. As well as every room. Basically, every single clone this guy could conjure was SOMEWHERE in the building. And this session happened to be the first time that one of our newer players was interacting with this villain. He, in character, completely lost his shit.

I should give some background information. This player literally designed the character in question to be "Shitpost: The Character", by which I mean "Literally a god damn Yu-Gi-Oh! character", by which I mean "has a duel disk, stupid hairstyle, can summon monsters, send people to the shadow realm, etc". This character is ALSO the child of two of our (now defeated) villains from the future. This guy went ALL OUT on this character. So he arrives at town hall looking for information on his dad, sees that it's been taken over completely by this mafia crime family, and just decides "fuck it, y'know what, I need to take a piss."

And finds the bathroom completely occupied by these duplicates of this fucker who he'd been seeing all over the god damn building - and already losing his shit about there being more than one of him randomly strewn about. He loses his shit even more than he already has, going into a huge tirade about how completely unacceptable this entire thing was, and promptly challenges the guy to a duel. The villain decides "fuck it" and humors him; meanwhile, all of the players are completely and utterly losing their shit about this entire debacle.

It probably helps that we were literally just playing Groose's Theme on repeat for basically the entire session, but there you go - the chronicles of Yuuta Townsend's first actual session in our campaign.

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25th Jan 2017, 5:09 AM
"Lots of Oops."

Once upon a time, I had a fantasy roleplaying group. In the group, we generally assumed that any thoughts and reasoning a player explained without being asked were also easy to guess by the other characters. Keep this in mind, it'll be important later.

In this scene, we had a ninja-esque rogue, a divination mage and a barbarian trying to figure out the easiest way to infiltrate the emperor's (huge) military camp in an attempt to bring him the real facts behind the war he was about to start, thus preventing it.

The rogue had been able to sneak through the camp and create a map of it. Now it was up to the mage to divine the position of the guards, and how many there were.

Rogue (very tense): "So.. how many guards are in his tent?"
Mage (nervous): "I see lots."
Rogue (slightly annoyed): "How many are 'lots' ?"
Mage (also annoyed, now): "lots 'n' lots."
Rogue growls, shakes his head and drinks something.
GM: "There's a nobleman walking in your direction. He seems familiar."
Barb (finally finding a way to contribute): "Uuuuuuh... That's reeeeaaally a lot." *sagenod*

The rogue spits his drink out and starts laughing... which in turn causes the others to laugh... and the nobleman to wipe Mountain Dew off his GM-scre-... ummm, wine off his coat. Oops.

Needless to say, the nobleman NPC we saved two sessions ago decided he didn't want to help us, after all. Oops.

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Joe the Rat

25th Jan 2017, 9:22 AM

I suppose the pitch on the campaign leaning towards comedy means everyone contributes in their special way, but the Rogues seem to be the epicenter of the worst player-initiated sillies:

-Triggering the tripwire to see what it does, then run from the guards summoned by the alarm.

-Poke at the hole in the ceiling emitting clicking sounds, then run back to the party with a swarm of stirges in tow.

-Proposition the attractive redhead that has spent an indeterminate amount of time sitting in undead-filled catacombs.

-Proposition a random tree.

-"Fool around" with the twin daughters of the queen of a spider-themed-but-otherwise-not-drow group of wood elves, then "fool around" with the queen of an opposing faction of might-have-something-to-do-with-dragons wood elves.

-Acquire an STE (sexually transmitted enchantment) from an Archfey Lady that, among other things, made him glow green.

-*Propose* to a ghast (undead, flesh eating, reeks of death) in the middle of combat.

-Charge into a room full of goblins and hobgoblins, and the party shuts the door behind him.

-Steal an alchemist's recipe book for the potion-making party cleric, then accidentally implicate the cleric (but not himself) in the theft with a botched Deception check (Bluff, in 3.5 terms).

-Manage to lose the Owlbear chub he was babysitting in the middle of a tavern. (For the record, he was not the father)

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25th Jan 2017, 1:32 PM

Here's a few that have happened on the campaigns I've been in that are rogue related:

-Scatter pebbles across the magical minefield between the entrances and the obvious bait chest triggering the "rocks fall" trap and destroying any loot that may have been in there.

-Propositioned a dragon in the middle of combat.... wait that was the paladin never-mind (it worked though.)

-Tried to kill an angry dragon with the ceiling and missed.

-Made it look like a boulder fell from the sky (gnome arcane trickster rogue) and killed him and then resumed combat a couple turns later, cleric thought he was back from the dead and tried to brain him with a morningstar.

-shot an arrow into the painting containing the angered souls of a few demons releasing them into the mansion that was totally not the haunted mansion from disney.

-Antagonizing Alucard for no good reason.

-Inciting a Kobold Dance Party in Jarlaxle's house.

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25th Jan 2017, 3:56 PM
"20 20 20 20 (four hours ago~ I wanna be sedated)"

So my group is playing a Gestalt Ponyfinder game, where we have a Steelheart Titan/Engineer (He's like a Sunbreaker Titan from Destiny with points in Disable Device and Knowledge: Engineering). a Griffon (whose classes I forget) with solid engineering checks, two others that don't matter to this story, and my video-game junkie Swashbuckler/Sorceress who took the Draconic Bloodline, has only a +2 Int, and has no ranks in anything regarding engineering, demolitions, or disabling devices.

The two Engineer-types roll to try to either fix a bunker door so we can open it, or look for a way to open it by force. They both rolled Nat 1s.

After that, I rolled a Nat 20 doing a pure Int check. Turns out, my character's played games with a similar situation! Then, our Steelheart, feeling a bit annoyed with itself after not being of any help (he has a flaw that means protecting Fae creatures, such as ponies, is his main directive), decides to work off my knowledge and lever the door open. Nat 20. After that, we ended up having <b>three more</b> Nat 20s, and ended up getting the coordinates of a Hellraiser tank. Which we used to kill a good three Evil Outsiders in short order, where earlier one had almost TPK'd us.

We also now have a group of Pipefoxes working in our spaceship's engine room.

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25th Jan 2017, 4:38 PM
"Mourning Wood"

Our group was doing a side bit where all the characters played through a part of each other's backgrounds with each on DMing their own background.

The group witnessed the necromancer defeat the enemies who killed his people then pass out from overexerting his power.

The usual DM: "Does he have an erection?"
Me: "What? No-"
DM: "Nat 20 for perception. Does he have mourning wood?"
Me: "... No. He does not have an erection."

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The Chessmaster

The Chessmaster

26th Jan 2017, 12:36 PM

So, 5E. I was playing an exceptionally gullible character. By that I don't mean I had poor insight. I was trained in it, actually. I just rolled so badly that the party rogue kept bluffing me. In fact, they convinced me, somehow, that escorting a bunch of weapon smugglers was a good idea.

First we sneak up on them. Everyone succeeds against the rogue, who bumps into the smugglers' cart. I try to distract them... but get a natural 1 for my persuasion, so I end up shouting, "hello, we're here to mug you!"

At that point, the rest of the party does damage control, convincing the smugglers I'm drunk. Then, the rogue suggests I create a distraction so they can sneak into the cart. So I start rambling about my adventures so far, and just keep talking for so long (actually saying it, not just saying I do, mind you) that the DM gave me inspiration to get me to stop.

The rogue was now on the cart, and proceeded to spook the horses, which ran over me and all the smugglers except the cart driver. The rogue then flung the driver off the cart, apologizing while they did it, and took the cart off to sell its goods.

I gave chase, frantically shouting at them to wait up. It was pointless, of course. My land speed wasn't high enough to keep up with the horses. So I just kept running, rolling perception (badly) to try to guess where they were going. While the rogue did their work, I was just sitting there, tapping my feet against the floor to simulate running, and occasionally rolling to try to find them. Inevitably, I'd fail and say something like, "oh, hey! I bet they're over on that mountain!"

Then, when I met up with the rogue again, they immediately convinced me that nothing suspicious had happened.

The entire party had their fair share of laughs that session.

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Ye Tims

30th Jun 2017, 3:31 AM

I think "God damn it, Luke" is going to become one of GM's catchphrases.

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