Nah its fine!

Honestly, It feels pretty accurate to some of the games I've been in. We had a 30 second game of capture the flag take over 4 hours real time. Not counting food.

We also had some fights draw out waaaay to long. After roughly 2 hours, the first round was over... one of the players got out his base guitar, cause he was bored.
After that we picked up some habits, which improved game speed, like rolling attack and damage rolls at the same time.

4th Edition D&D takes the cake for long ass fights. I had to cancel my campaign as the GM because I got bored of making so little headway every week.

But some fights... just take... way... too... LOOOOOOOOOOONG! We've all had at least one.

Quibbling over rules. Bad roll after bad roll. Six different "final" forms. There is an endless number of reasons for a fight to take way to goddamn long.

What's your long ass fight?

Well, when I started Dark Heresy, I was one of two new players, and the three vets hadn't played in years, so every fight took a while; we didn't really hit our stride until around halfway through the campaign. The best example, though, is the second session's encounter - we finished the job we'd declined for a better-paying contract last session, rounding out the GM's data on our performance in combat.
First I, as the only even remotely sneaky party member, was scouting enemy territory, while my teammates conducted an impromptu interrogation of some poor schmuck across the street. Then, I fail a Perception test while poking through a crate of guns and notice too late that a barge's crane has lifted the whole platform the crate was on, and there are no less than five gangers watching it rise.
A Nat1 for Concealment in a d100 roll-under system saved my ass (I had enough stealth talents that I'd likely have been fine anyway, but lying down and turning basically invisible was nice) and I called in the boys. A round or two of carnage lasting around an hour of life-time later (they were NOT expecting the kind of firepower the team's plasma weapons had, or a surprise grenade from what looked like thin air to anyone not hiding there) the assassination target showed up with bodyguards, and they all had rocket launchers.
Did I mention the barge we were fighting on was stacked high with ammo crates and ramshackle platforms? Yeah.
About 2 or 3 realworld hours later, we'd wiped out the enemy (including those who tried to run - the range on a phased plasma fusillade is pretty impressive) and collected evidence of the paying kill (hands, since my sniper rifle vaporized his head and some of his torso through the magic of crits) but I was pinned under a pair of enemy corpses, heavily wounded from one of the aforementioned corpses inhibiting my ability to dodge a well-aimed frag missile from the second, our smarty-pants was thrashing helplessly in horribly toxic water that painfully mutated his eyes (thankfully harmless, compared to the other mutations possible from failing his save even after spending his last reroll), and the other three were a little scratched up.
Bonus points: when I tried to dramatically leap off of the exploding barge and roll out of the momentum for a safe landing, I fumbled badly enough that my character instead rolled awkwardly off the edge, plummeting and booking her head midroll to wind up unconscious next to the corpse I'd thrown down as lootable emergency cushion.

I wish to tell you of a battle between myself and another in... darn it, I forget which system. Might have been mutants and masterminds, or some other superhero rpg. Now, Captain Sociopath was not your typical hero. In fact, he was a total jackass.

True to his name, he didn't give a crap about bystanders or how much it traumatized poor little Suzie to see him kill a dude with his power, which was opening portals, portal style. As you can imagine, guns were worse than useless against him.

Any gun pointed at him was pointed right back. Well, he went up against a guy in what was essentially a bulletproof gundam. Thousands of hit points, and each shot did like one or two damage. After a three hour (realtime) showdown, I was getting tired of it, and used my powers to redirect his bullets at some nearby skyscrapers. Yes, they had people in them. Lots of people. I timed it so that one skyscraper fell on him, followed by another.

He was down to a third of his health now. Finally, I started having him knock huge steel beams down from a nearby construction, and used them as arrows. I won, but good lord, that thing was a bullet sponge. And that was the douchebag I had to fight. The other three guys were also facing down their own villains.

Apparently, none of them could help me because they used up all their ammo/energy/libido(yes, that was a thing.) And decided to back away to a safe distance when I started bringing down the roof.

Did you need line of sight for the portals, or did he have some kind of disruption field to prevent you just bypassing the mech and skewering/pulverizing him directly?

The mecha had a spacial denial field all around it, so I couldn't open the portals within ten feet of the fifty foor tall gundam. Pretty much designed from the ground up to piss me off.

I mean, the portals were like cantrips to my space warping powers, so I didn't really run out of stamina or power for them. But his shields basically screwed over all my abilities, which mostly amounted to all the many ways I could avoid taking hits anyway.

I play Eon, a swedish roleplaying game which is rather famous for it's extreme troughnes.

It's a game that has about 10-20 pages of diagrams and lists just to find out what your parents,siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles think about you and what they do for a living. This is MANDATORY when you roll up a char...
How long do you think a battle in this system can take?

I will give you a hint, it's called Eon for a reason...

Divide monster health by 2.5, multiply monster damage bonuses by 1.5

4e fights take so long because both PCs and enemies are HP sponges, by increasing the attack power and decreasing the HP of the enemies this can be avoided.

5e has a worse problem though, at low levels it's rocket tag, at high levels it's padded sumo combat, unfortunately I have no simple tricks to fixing those issues

Every Single Battle in Shadowrun 3 We Ever Had (after understanding the Rules well enough to ... shall we say build Powerfully^^).

It literally went "grab all D6 you can, roll, Count successes, reroll 6es, Count successes, reroll 12es, apply to Task, let enemies roll, Count successes, apply result. And it got much worse with Ki Adpets and Riggers (Ki Pool and 3 Drones anyone?)....

Really, it was a running gag for years after we stopped playing to say "A Battle, I roll first, and get Food while you`re at it". What do you guys want again?"

I am currently running a Cyberpunk 2020 game, where the first gunfight was split between two sessions. While the fight did not take as long as it could have, it was pretty damn drawn out.

The characters were two cops trying to make a drug-bust. However they ended up committing the gravest of sins. Splitting the party. One of them the Medtech ended up in a room alone with the drug-dealer and his cook. While the Techie/Netrunner ended up having to take a cab to the abandoned warehouse and having to sneak in. Now when this fight had been designed, I'd been promised four players. One of whom never showed up and another who ended up playing the combat character had to leave early. Needless to say some stuff went down. That resulted in the cook HULKING OUT!!! Before proceeding to beat the Medtech to death with a wheelie chair. The warehouse they were in was soundproof and the techie could only listen to her partner being beaten through a oneway wiretap. Meanwhile she had to dispatch two patrolling mooks outside the warehouse. Which she did after some time, planning and pure dumb luck. Not bad for a girl with only minimal combat training. Long story short, the fight ended with the pair reunited exchanging fire with another four mooks on a catwalk. This fight would have dragged on for another hour and a half if I hadn't sent in the cavalry. (Summoned by their 911 chip, a convenient little plot device that calls for backup whenever you fire a gun) I could probably have handled it better. However it has been one of the most enjoyable fights I've ever run. Not bad for what was supposed to be a tutorial fight.

I recall two from my gaming days, both run by a DM nicknamed "Evil Dave" and both using monsters from unofficial sourcebooks as part of a campaign to retrieve Thor's hammer.

I'll tell about the second first. It used Monster X from All the World's Monsters. At first, we thought it was the bullette from Hell, except it ran around on land instead of being a landshark burrowing beneath us. What tipped the players off that something was off was that Evil Dave asked for all our D6s. He needed at least 60 and he rolled them all on the first attack. We all thought "Oh S---!" He then announced that it had done 12 damage. We looked at each other and thought, "OK, Dave. Whatever." The battle went of for a couple of hours as the monster had an impressive armor class (I think -12; this is the early 1980s), lots of hit points, and immunity to magic, but did surprisingly little damage given that the DM was rolling 60 D6. Eventually, the party killed it and got on the Bifrost Bridge to Asgard. As for why it did so little damage, it turned out that of all the dice rolled, only the ones counted. No wonder. At least the initial freakout was fun.

The previous installment of the campaign featured a lich who guarded the doorway to Hell in an unofficial published campaign. That thing was crazy prepared and it took all evening to defeat him. He had magical traps all around his lair and a sequence of spell attacks. After that night, the gaming group called the monster "The Bitch Lich" because it was so difficult to defeat.

Luke actually stick his tongue at the GM.