Page 534 in The Baratie
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Average Rating: 4.67
Number of people who have voted: 3

By the same author as Grand Line 3.5



23rd Apr 2014, 2:57 AM

Wow.I'm getting really curious now how Nami's story is going to develop...

Wait. Did Luke really come up with that plan? He must be a speial kind of stupid!

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23rd Apr 2014, 4:33 AM

Special kinds of stupid are the best kinds!

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23rd Apr 2014, 11:58 AM

Does an abysmal plan have to actually be really bad? Because if so this one doesn't quite count.

In a campaign I was in, the city the party was currently staying in was going to be attacked by an army of paladins (probably because they saw some demon burning down the halfling section of the city or something and one of the temples had all its clerics sacrificed on its altar). Anyway, the party decided that instead of running away from an army of paladins, we'd stay and fight. Fortunately, we did make some preparations. One of the first things is the cleric started casting animate dead with most of their spell slots, every day (we had about a week). When the point was brought up "You can't control that many undead" the simple and obvious answer was "I'm not going to CONTROL them!" (We did seal the city and let them roam around outside the walls though). The second, very helpful stage came with some good social skills. We managed to convince the paladins to trade some of their (more important) members in exchange for all the orphans we had hostage. We didn't bother telling the paladins the orphans were trapped with explosive runes and other things. In the end, "only" a solar managed to make it to our party (at least, he was far ahead of the rest). After fighting him and sacrificing him on some dark altar in exchange for ridiculous power etc. that shenanigan was over with. The campaign continued for a while, but that plan was probably not such a great idea. Really, it shouldn't have worked out so amazingly well.

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Disloyal Subject

27th Apr 2014, 3:03 PM
"A Bad, Bad Man"

Sounds like the plan was still 'bad,' just a different kind. Weaponized orphans? Bravo!

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23rd Apr 2014, 5:47 AM

Tell a story about a truly abysmal plan!

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23rd Apr 2014, 6:36 AM

the best way to stop a rampaging horde of kobolds is a rampaging horde orcs(i missed the game night where they decided this was a good idea), libel to say this ended the only way it could 1 horde absorbed the other and the new super horde killed 90% of elven kind

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23rd Apr 2014, 3:36 PM

That's still 90% successful!

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24th Apr 2014, 7:13 PM

Taejix, you and i are the only ones that agree

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24th Apr 2014, 11:14 PM

Being a dorf lover, I also agree. Effing elves, man. In one game, they give my character PTSD and put him on the road to being a cold, violent psychotic.

In my other game, they eat us if we don't kill them fast enough!

Elves suck!

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23rd Apr 2014, 7:59 AM

Very first session of our new campaign, the entire party wakes up on a wagon trundling towards the local super-max prison. All of us have amnesia so we have no idea what crime(s) we were charged with. One convenient undead attack later and we are free men and women who need to plan out our next move. Head to the nearest town and lay low for awhile? Investigate the surroundings for why the undead attacked? Go with an NPC who broke out with us who "knows some people who might be able to help you"?

Or, the choice we went with, have my character put on the dead driver's bloody uniform and then proceed to attempt to break *into* the prison we were on our way to. There was no real plan for once we actually were inside, mind you. This actually went fairly well for us for a bit, but eventually we ran into the much higher level paladin who acted as warden. One very one-sided battle later, every member of the party besides myself was captured and imprisoned. I was busy hiding in the corner invisible, ostensibly for a good time to attack, and so got overlooked.

After that my character had to make a series of very fortunate Bluff and Knowledge checks to avoid getting caught out as an imposter guard, since I was still wearing the old guard's uniform. Eventually another NPC staged a break out and the party managed to escape.

The entire ordeal netted us exactly nothing in the way of information or items, barely any experience, and made it so that the guards in the nearby town were on high alert for us. But we totally broke into that prison...

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23rd Apr 2014, 2:00 PM

"If we cut down this evil tree full of specters, it'll release the corrupted spirits to continue their journey to the afterlife. Just in case they try to attack us in passing, we'll hide inside this anti-undead bubble."

"Um... the ten dozen specters you just released aren't passing on to the afterlife. They're massacring the nearby village and making more specters. How long does the bubble last again?"

"Er... 1 min/level."

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24th Apr 2014, 1:03 PM
"The first, and last voyage of the East Deepwater trading company"

This one is from my first time playing D&D, as I recall we had just signed on to act as armed escorts to a merchant ship (the only one) of the newly formed East Deepwater Trading company). My character had recently found a +3 longbow of fire after navigating a maze of traps and spell wards in some warehouse in waterdeep (he took a pile of pebbles and just scattered them along a straight line to the chest and set off everything in the way) and so was feeling pretty cocky.

Cue standard high seas pirate fight during a storm. Things were going well until I failed one of the shots and a flaming arrow went into the sails and rigging. All hands were lost including the PC's and the attacking pirate galleon when the fire reached the hold and the shipment of smoke-powder. The company folded as a result.

Another victim of the sea of swords.

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23rd Apr 2014, 4:02 PM
"The Tale of Barton Znir"

Barton was a gnoll inquisitive (detective) in Sharn, a major city in the Eberron world. He was doing rather well for himself, until one day the city was attacked by necromancers. Zombies plagued the streets, killing and eating everyone in sight. Barton gather many of the locals into his tavern, the Drunken Kobold, and headed to the basement.
You see, he had been renting the basement out to an alchemist to get a bit of extra gold on the side.
Barton runs down there, grabs a random selection of vials and explosives, and brings them upstairs just as zombies are breaking in the front door. He ordered everyone out of the bar and into the sewers via the grate right behind the building while he starts spilling and pouring all the exquisite ales, mead, dwarven spirits, and the draconic liquor he stole during the Last War all over the floor and walls, leaving the alchemical supplies everywhere. Then he waits for the zombies to get in the building before using his minor psionic power to ignite the last keg of spirits on fire.
The only problem with Barton's plan? He forgot to leave the building before setting the fire.
The ridiculous mixture not only manages to burn the zombies, but the DM declared that dragon beer is very very explosive when mixed with dwarven ale.

RIP Barton, who single-handed saved Sharn from a zombie apocalypse by blowing up half the city.

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24th Apr 2014, 1:42 AM

Hi! First Post!

Not from a game that I played in, but one that I was sitting in on: So the DM thought that it would be a great idea to give the party a severely weakened "blood dragon" (actually probably the lowest stated boss they had fought yet) that had some sort of weird mind control. Compounded with the fact that there was some kind of giant lizard monk on the party things were going to go wrong. At some point the lizard monk realized that his kind would probably worship dragons and began to try releasing the dragon. The Bard (the party leader) said, and I quote, "Do you realize that the first thing it is going to do is go out and destroy the nearest civilization... destroy the nearest civilization." He repeated as he came to the epiphany that releasing a ravenous blood dragon dead in the enemy elvan lands would actually line up with their plans nicely. Cue convincing the lawful good cleric and the paladin to heal the dragon so that it could fly, the monk trying to sacrifice the other party members/ride the dragon, dropping the blood dragon into a lake of blood, and fleeing as the entire dungeon collapsed around them.

At the end of the session the DM's face sunk into his hands and he warned us all "There will be consequences."

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24th Apr 2014, 6:23 AM

Well, that does Sound interesting.

Cue on our most rcent Campaign: 3 very unlikely ... ahem "!Heroes" ind themselves trapped on the plane of the exiled "UrChaosEntities" (we got 3 different names atm, so I reserve the right to stay with that), and our plan became "join up with the local Chaos Cultists to get out and foil whatever they are doing".
So far, so good (after all, 2 Characters are chaotic good, for now at least).
Hoever seeing that we have all been mutated enough to Count as aberations byx now, and are forced to live in a Chaotic neutral, tending towards evil, Society day by day, I cannot NOT think of the Long term Consequences should we one day be free. ^^

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24th Apr 2014, 4:21 PM
"this can only end well"

so to start off above has been my war cry in dungeons and dragons for many years.

one such event was a standard storm the castle scenario except we did not have an army, or the advantage of surprise or much of anything else one would want when storming a heavily armed fortress. So we did the only reasonable thing we could think of at the time. We took the dwarf and his catapult and we fired him at the castle. Mostly due to a lack of large rocks. he took 6d6 damage from the landing and with his ridiculous fighter health and dwarven con got back up and began to fight on the wall. Then the rest of us climbed the wall behind him in about two rounds. By the time we got up there he had about 1-2 hp left so captain cleric patched him up and we went about killing the guards on the wall. some in discriminant time later (we sort of lost track of time) we eventually got to the throne room to learn we had attacked the wrong castle.

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18th Oct 2017, 3:37 PM

Robin roleplaying style is awesome

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