Oh great now Mihawk will sound like Hermonie in my head forever.

I think we all know why this character doesn't join the party... what did she give up to be able to a ship in half?

She can cut a hell of a lot more than just one ship.

If I remember correctly?

Living.

Oh geeze, it's supreme cleave all over again!

*snort* Order of the Stick reference?

Yes, Mihawk has great cleavage. I'm surprised you didn't already know that what with it being his most prominent feature and all. :p

Very impressive layout.

Is Mihawk supposed to be the same level as the party? Because Denied.

Luffy can grapple with a ship, and rip it apart greco roman style. I don't see why not.

You can DO that? I need to [find and] read more sourcebooks!
Even if the character's vetoed after one session, it'll be worth the look on the DM's face!

What I'm thinking happened is chaining Uncanny trickster and Legacy champion's +1 level to exisiting class features with the poorly written Tome of Battle clause stating that all prestigue classes also advance Initatior level by 1 to gain 3x normal combat manuver advancement, Such a build would have an IL of 8 by lv 6 and an IL of 21 by lv 12

I love how Johnny and Yosaku are looking at this awesomeness and just don't seem to care.

They're just cool that way.

Story prompt! Tell us about a time you or someone in your party cleaved someone or something in two. The bigger and bloodier, the better.

Does Ares count?

Dude was just chilling, playing a barbarian, when he gets a sweet idea. His roidraging psycho is gonna be an artist! So the next time he goes into combat, he's making rolls, and none of us understand what all the extra rolls are for. "Look! I make a blood kitty!" "Actually, you tried to make a blood kitty, but you accidentally created a strage summoning circle. The blood is glowing, and, hey, look at that, there are corpses in the circle, being consumed by the summoning."

If looks could kill, ladies and gents.

An avatar of Ares appears and says that his brutal prowess in combat has earned his notice, and his favor. He handed him an enchanted weapon. The moment the barb touched it, he went berserk. He hacked the avatar to pieces, then the horses, then the freaking paladin. Totally unable to stop. And that, boys and girls, is where our barbarian got a greataxe of Khorne.

I can't tell if that DM's a jerk or just brilliant. Probably both?
Skulls for the Skull Throne!

My pixie ghoul rogue simply flew out of range, waited for him, and then fed on everyone that died, but saved a piece of their bodies for resurrection.

It's a very special moment to see everyone's faces when you present a cleric with four testicles and a nipple, and ask him to raise your friends.

Don't look at me like that! I raised concerns about my carry capacity as a pixie, but they insisted it would be fine as long as I stayed with the group. Well guess what? A hollowed out breast is an excellent container for holding small, light organs.

On the one hand, they were ecstatic to be raised. On the other hand, they all felt so horribly, horribly violated. And the reason I didn't take fingers is that my daggers were too small, and I didn't want to bother. The female druid was cut in hand vertically, and I needed a bag.

Sure, I could have taken eyeballs, but they're so slippery, and much more delicate. Nope. Testicles won't be destroyed if I drop them From fifty feet up. As it was, I had such a precarious load, it took me twice as long as normal to get there. Let me say right now that anyone who notes that they have 72DDDDDD breasts is an idiot. DM made me roll to fight headwinds six times, and I failed two, due to carrying what was essentially half a freaking weather balloon!

The girl who owned that character got a real chewing out. First by my pixie, then by me. The first was literal, as I described in extremely graphic detail how I ate her corpse after they were safely alive again.

It was the first time I had ever seen someone cry and vomit at the same time. I was pissed because the flight should have been ten miles, but it took half an hour in real time as everyone got more and more frustrated, even though I was slowly making progress.

Just to get back at her for making her breasts weigh fifty pounds each, I described my character caressing her body. Stroking and licking it in an erotic manner as he began to feed on her a second time.

I was really mad about this, so my rogue used a wand of far seeing, or something like that, to let her character watch, explicitly so I could describe in agonizing, excruciating detail what I was doing, for the whole group to hear.

I do not think I have ever been so pissed at someone for having something stupid on their character sheet come back to bite me.

I'm not sure if it counts but I was in a game where we were playing gods. Most of them were anthropomorphic personifications in the style of Greek or Norse mythology. I read some of the descriptions I felt like the game could use a bit of my touch.

I especially noticed how their didn't seem to be any well done Evil Gods. And so I brought in something I was toying with for a setting.

"The Destroyer" See. He was from a time before names so he didn't have one. He was a god of beauty and murder. Change and Energy. The explosive power of life itself. If he had any form at all, it was of a nuclear explosion. (Which I know is just a sun. But the bomb thing works better.)

And cleaving was a large part of what he did. First of all. If you could understand what he was saying? You would be cleaved, so he tended to speak indirectly.

It goes without saying that when he created demons they had natural inclinations to cleave.

He had an artifact, a great axe that carried his will. And so yeah, that thing was pretty good at cleaving. Don't even need to make contact. Thing was so deadly it would cut through people and a couple rocks behind them.


Some of the mods decided to run an event with invading gods from other worlds. And were largely left unopposed.

Largely.

Was waiting for a chance to call the opening shots in the war so my Avatar went around cleaving the primary invader gods roads.


I had decided to make a region suitable for general adventuring. Floating continent full of dinosaurs. And Goblins with rifles. Also weird lighting. To add to how surreal the whole thing was? Went ahead and cleaved the ocean too.


In the end though what I truly cleaved were peoples hearts. Because the character was fondly remembered. Or they were just so confused they couldn't forget.

Yeah. Would have been the brains I cleaved. That's it.

It is at this moment that I realize that my entire roleplaying life has been meaningless, and will continue to be for as long as I am denied the honor of being cleaved by this majestic entity.

I should probably cease reading this comic until I've gotten ahead of it in One Piece before I spoil anything else for myself...

ADMIRAL LAVAPANTS MURDERS LUFFY!

Usopp gets possessed by a girl with ghosty powers!

SNAPE KILLS WHITEBEARD!

Noooooooooooooo I haven't finished Thriller Bark yet WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHY

Darth Vader Is Luffy's father!

Eh Darth vader is a bit of stretch.. I don't think [redacted for those of you who don't know] is a darth vader type. Not only does he appear to care about Luffy but he isn't working for the world government and his motivations and actions while questionable aren't anakinesque.

However I couldn't find a decent character to compare him to. Maybe Sirius Black?

The worst thing is, those spoilers are actually close enough to the truth to believe... If I didn't know any better I...

Wait, no, I... I haven't read that far in Harry Potter! Who, why... why did you spoil that for me? WHYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!?!!?!?!?

SANJI BECOMES A WOMAN!

Sanji was only a woman for a little while. Or was he just dressed up as a woman? I am not sure since he was an island own by a person who can change people's powers. ...I am not making this up. Sanji may or may not have been turned into a woman for a while. It was on an island of transexuals. ...once again I am reminded of how weird this series can get.

The island is run by a queer(his words, not mine) who looks like Tim Curry in Rocky Horror Picture Show, and his super power is forcibly injecting people with transexual hormones, often against their will.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is considered a good guy. He is also a wonderfully ambiguous character. I personally think he's kind of a jerk, but I at least respect the way he respects the bonds of friendship.

Also, I am amused by his antics. Death Wink!

And people say I'm insensitive to gender nonnormative types. This show makes them a brainwashing cult.

I'm not even kidding. He rules a country where everything and everyone that goes there becomes a queer.(again, their words, not mine.)

Not surprising, though, since soon after, Luffy teams up with a bunch of actually evil criminals.

technically his power is injecting hormones, the gender change is just his preferred use. also has healing, i think there was strength. and Sanji does become a woman again on that island of fire and ice

Gay Twoface Edward Scissorhands is constantly a different gender. Watch close, and you'll see that practically every scene he goes back and forth between male and female.

Go back and read that again. This series has a gay twoface, with scissors for hands. Japan, ladies and gentlemen!

Seriously, that guy is awesome, though. And yeah, I know it's, technically hormones, but the first time we see him, he forces a prisoner to become a woman, and brainwashes her into accepting her new role, based on his gaydar telling him the dude is secretly queer.(Their words, I swear! I have nothing against them other than their leader, who in a brainwashing cult leader. In fact, Bon-chan is one of my very favorite characters!)

Yikes, it can be hard to talk about certain parts of this series without raising hackles. But this is a safe place, right?

I mean unless you're one of those Quebecois who know english, but refuse to speak it, lest you sully your innocent tongues with the language of the lowly commoners. Yes, I have met these people. Yes, they're on my list of people to send to the camps if I ever take over the world. At the camps, they will be forced to perform degrading menial labor for the entertainment of the masses! Menial tasks like making pot holders, lanyards, wallets, and whatever other wuss activities modern summer camps do.

Bah. I miss learning how to set traps, pick edible mushrooms, and spear fish with handmade spears. Summer camps suck now!

I've got to admit, I do want to see more of their island's secret Kempo techniques.

They may look lame, but Sanji did notice that the queers on the island were abnormally strong, so their martial arts must be effective.

It's not *quite* that bad in the original Japanese, I think. The word in question can mean homosexual or crossdresser, so it could be as simple as the dress code there being...well, frilly and pink, thus making any male who comes there become a cross-dresser by default.

Emily is the best ever. And I bet Cory wants to do a little PvP to convince GM that Mihawk is not too powerful to join...chaos ensues.

Now THAT'S what I call a character-defining moment!

This is an easy storytime to fulfill. During his first ever session of Adeptus Evangelion, my puny little wizard-boy pilot with the twinked only for AT wizardry Eva managed to cleave through an Angel's leg with an attack of opportunity on the first hit he made during the fight. Then, on his actual action, he cut through the rest of its torso with his tiny little prog knife and killed it, effectively two-shotting the big horrible monster.

This was after he got hit by the thing's symbolism laser and was nearly fried to a crisp himself, so the resulting righteous fury-laden slices were justified as him being really angry at having to pilot a giant mecha for the first time and save the world without prior warning.

That's sure is some introduction.