Page 506 in The Baratie
first Latest
Page 506

first Previous Next Latest
Average Rating: 5
Number of people who have voted: 3

By the same author as Grand Line 3.5



17th Feb 2014, 2:40 AM

Story time today is about starvation! Tell a story about a character who faces an actual danger of starving.

I actually have one of these. My furry wolverine knock off, Ransu, can regrow limbs at an amazing rate. In just a week or so, he can regrow a whole arm. Problem is he needs large quantities of food. Highly nutritious food. Needs to constantly eat when badly injured, or his body will use itself as fuel to rebuild. Ten thousand calories a day, minimum. So, the bullet wounds won't kill him, but they will starve him to death.

In retrospect, maybe he's a lot dumber than I intended, since his combat strategy is basically a modified form of Ultimate Cleave, adapted for daggers. Basically, he can stab or slash at any foe in range while moving at top speed without slowing down. A base running speed of 65 feet per second means massive combat advantages against a large number of foes. On the other hand, he's kinda screwed if they have guns and can see him coming. Sure, he'll still win, but if he gets shot up badly enough, he won't be able to get any food.

Yeaaahhh... I'm thinking maybe he's an idiot. But hey, once he gets close, they can't touch him! I mean, nobody would be foolish enough to fire at him while he's in the middle of their ranks, right? That would be a terrible idea!

edit delete reply


17th Feb 2014, 4:50 AM

Start spreading (false) rumors that he has a Lethal Chocolate allergy and that if they want their bullet/knife wounds against him to stick they need to shove a candy bar down his throat to stop his healing factor.

edit delete reply



17th Feb 2014, 9:39 AM

Yeaaahhh... I'm thinking maybe he's an idiot.

So Wolverine?

edit delete reply



17th Feb 2014, 2:01 PM

An idiot outside of stealth, assassinatio, combat, and survival? Yep!

To be fair, I decided that was overpowered.

So I made him part Highlander. If he loses his head, game over. I just didn't want him to be too unstoppable.

His class is Wandering Mercenary. Basically a homebrew rogue/assassin/monk/ranger thing. Lots of skill points, lots of survival and rogue type skills. Short on most knowledge skills, but big on knowledge(local).

Hey, at one point, he agreed to be the bodyguard of a drug lord/mobster's daughter. Rather than just escort her to school and back, he took her out on the town. He became her favourite bodyguard immediately, but Ransu nearly got in very, very big trouble for it. On the other hand, the mobster was impressed that he was putting more effort into making the little girl happy, even though the job only required him to guard her while she's in public. Most guards escort her to school, guard her, and escort her home, then call it a day.

A guy who takes the extra time and effort, despite being paid a set amount per day, is a valuable asset. Granted, Ransu makes it clear that he will not be the mob boss's bodyguard because he doesn't like the way the mobster does business, but he does not believe the little girl should suffer for the sins of the father.

Oh, and this doesn't take place in New York, or Italy, or someplace where even rival factions have qualms about kidnapping of killing the children of their enemies. This takes place in Burma. One of many bad neighborhoods in Africa. So yeah, no intelligent person would go there for mercenary work, and no smart soldier would be "just passing through."

Mayhaps I need to work on my brevity. Then again, you wouldn't get to read my lame stories if I didn't.

edit delete reply


13th Sep 2015, 8:12 AM

If I correctly recall what I did, I once designed a... Cleric? Some kind of healer (I don't even remember which system it was, sorry), who could regenerate himself Wolverine-style, with flesh just regrowing without caloric input, but only had the usual effect on others. His MO for Survival was going to be self-cannibalizing (and stocking the food supply) every time he had spare heals at the end of the day.

This was one of the few character concepts I recall being outright turned down by a DM instead of simply being abandoned during creation in favor of a more immediately interesting concept.

edit delete reply


17th Feb 2014, 7:14 AM

Okay... Yeah, reading it as Walken really does make it completely hilarious.


edit delete reply


17th Feb 2014, 6:39 PM

Does it count if they use poison?

edit delete reply


17th Feb 2014, 11:58 PM

Depends on the Dm, most likely. Still a bad idea, though, since a couple of them have alignment restrictions and poison is an evil act.

edit delete reply

Disloyal Subject

22nd Feb 2014, 11:30 PM

Is poison evil? I just thought that Knights' and Paladins' codes prohibited it.
Granted, killing this guy solely for personal gain would be pretty evil, whether or not he's evil too. That said, poison doesn't seem any more or less evil than a blade to me, though I typically prefer the more visceral satisfaction of the blade.

edit delete reply


18th Feb 2014, 12:56 AM

Killing people, gaining XP, feeding; there is a League of Legends joke in there somewhere.

And its almost impossible to have a bad Mr. Walken impressions. Its like failing to make a bad movie, only the brutally incompetent can't do it.

edit delete reply



18th Feb 2014, 1:21 AM

It's like failing to write an incompetent character.

I did that once. Usually, I just write on autopilot once I get sat down to work, so characters sometimes end up wildly different than I originally intended. Raxon's adopted daughter was originally going to be a shrinking violet with a feat of people, but she quickly turned into a wheelchair bound action girl. Apparently, she spent a while in a dreamscape, getting over her whole monster angst and leaning Krav Maga and pankration. Yup, she's a badass mutant with her own special brand of butt kicking, when originally, she was going to be a morality pet Raxon needed to protect from the world.

I like the tough daughter better.

Ummm... What was I saying? Oh! Right! Failing to write incompetence! It is remarkably difficult to fail to make someone incompetent, but in a game, you can make a character who is incompetent, but always right, and always successful.

It's the kind of thing Toon is built on.

edit delete reply

Leave a Comment