“You know, there's no particular reason why I need to engage you one-on-one.”
“But you're gonna.”
“What do you— dammit, I already accepted, didn't I?”

Always remember to call dibs. Otherwise that damn rogue who does 10 times the damage you do will kill steal everything

If a rogue is doing 10x the damage of your character you need serious help

but it's because they called dibs on the gear!

Clearly you’ve never played a Pathfinder Ninja. At level 10 you get at will Greater Invisibility. At level 12 your sneak attacks deal Strength damage in addition to the regular damage. Invest in the right feats and items beforehand and by level 15 you’re throwing 9 shurikens a round dealing 8d6+16 points of damage each, and the whole thing counts as one attack for the purposes of massive damage and overcoming DR. You can boost even higher with magic shurikens (I recommend Bane myself). By that point the only guys consistently out damaging you are Mounted Fury Barbarian Mammoth Riders charging or a wizard exploiting the hell out of Mass Suffication

This is an amazing way to rewrite this scene. (I'm smarter than this, but my character isn't.)

Seems kind of appropiate, considering all the scenes that can only be explained with "The character should have known better - the player must have derped."

by the adition of the time when one have to play a character accordingly even if this is not something you would do personally, and the time where a character have a smarter way to do something, but you did'nt think about it in the heat of the moment and did something else, The character is ensured to tend toward the dumbest if the player don't pay attention to what he is doing.