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Average Rating: 5
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By the same author as Grand Line 3.5



1st Aug 2018, 3:33 AM

When you win, you must be a gracious winner. Let me tell you a story about culture and competition.

In my setting, magi gather once every four years for a month long event, separated into three main parts. There's a trade expo, with new products being unveiled, like at trade shows. Second, there's a convention with booths, panels, and public forums. At the convention, you can buy and sell goods, attend lectures, and there's even a culture of bartering, where magi can exchange spell instructions.

Finally, there are the games. There are two general types of games, divided into several smaller categories. The two types are magic primary, and magic assisted. Magic primary are things like ranged spell sniping, magi sculpt, glider races, and things where the physical skills of participants aren't tested. Magic assisted are basically whatever olympic events you can think of, but with magic assistance. For running and jumping, wind magic is the go to magic, though some like to also move the earth beneath their feet to aid their speed. In most cases, the big limit is what your body can endure. You can only move so fast before the turbulence injures you, after all. Swimming and watersports are another very impressive set of events, as are the gymnastics and artistic events.

Then there's the singles and doubles combat tournaments. This is the big event where participants step into the ring to battle for supremacy. I could tell of Davrel entering the single combat tournament, but considering he has a minor, localized grasp on gravity, that goes about as well as you can expect for someone who can put you through a roller coaster while you're standing on solid ground. Combine that with his teleport spam and nigh impenetrable defenses, and it doesn't make for an interesting story. Visually interesting, but nobody figured out what he was actually doing until his second run in the tournament.

No, the real entertainment comes after this totally unknown nobody comes out of nowhere to dominate and take the maximum number of firsts, and breaking world records in the process. So, a school teacher, the magi equivalent of the Juggernaut, wins five events in the games, and breaks three records.

First, for the thousand meter dash. Second, the hammer throw. Third, the glider race. World records in each, due to his unconventional ideas. Then there's the territory destruction, where you target your opponent's ice pillars and destroy them before your opponent can destroy yours. Finally, of course, there's single combat.

Now we come to the entertaining part. Hollywood decided to make a movie about this. Starring a young actor known for playing sympathetic teenagers. Davrel is humiliated by the creative liberties taken by the movie.

"I'm a veteran! I have a four digit body count! I was not bullied by the other competitors! And for feck's sake, why did they make my last opponent in the tournament a dude and an asshole? She was neither!"

It's such a terrible movie.

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1st Aug 2018, 10:58 AM

I have a tale of competition, love and Pokémon.

It was the quarter finals of the 127th of the annual Pokémon League.

The participants:

Ken. A Martial Artist who was skilled in the art of Mega Evolution. Mega Evolution was extremely exhausting for the Trainer, which is why most trainers don’t use it even if the power was incredible. Ken being the stupid Shonen protagonist he is managed to achieve the ability to Mega Evolve two of his Pokémon in a battle through the power of GAINS and DETERMINATION!

On the other side we had Super Nerd Rebecca. While she didn’t have anything fancy like Mega Evolution, she did have a brain with the processing power of a supercomputer. Strategies, counter strategies, counter counter counter counter strategies, every action she took during a battle was meticulously calculated out faster than most trainers could give orders.

These two were the party powerhouses, and they had never had anything resembling a serious battle against eachother before.

They were also childhood friends who were so obviously in love with eachother that the other two party members had a bet over when they’d finally make it official.

As it turns out, the Cool Trainer was about to win that bet.

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1st Aug 2018, 10:59 AM

As the two squared up, Ken, in his bombastic voice and with a slightly manic grin on his face, made a declaration.

“Rebecca! I want to make a bet with you! If I win this then you have to become my girlfriend!”

Rebecca, blushing madly and sporting that slasher smile she always got right before an intense battle, responded.

“Fine! But if I win this, YOU have to become MY boyfriend!”

Much d’awwing from the crowd ensued, while the party Breeder begrudgingly handed the Cool Trainer 200 Poke.

The battle itself was worthy of its own 2 hour tv special. The Frostlass/Camerupt fight created a tornado from the pressure differential. Porygon Z went full Rebuild Ramiel on everything. Kirlia took down Mega Scizor with a teleport powered orbital drop. Mega Blaziken evaporated an entire pool at once to flash broil a particularly Cloyster. The arena had to be replaced no least than 4 times during the battle due to the sheer amount of damage.

Finally it came down to their last Pokémon.

Rebecca had Mary, an Azumaril who she had raise from an egg given to her by her older sister. Mary was her very first Pokémon and her strongest partner.

Ken had Bunt the Beedrill. The first Pokémon he had ever captured, back when Ken was still convinced that Pokémon battles meant the Trainer had to battle the Pokémon. Their’s was a bond that could only be achieved through manly punching.

Mary was running on fumes, charged up from a belly drum that really should have knocked it out.

Meanwhile Ken decided to go for broke.

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1st Aug 2018, 11:01 AM
"Still going"

You know how I said that two Mega Evolutions was pushing “dangerous forbidden technique” levels? Well three is basically “shit son! How the hell are you not dead!?”

The two clashed. Mary shot forward with her signature belly drum powered aqua jet, a technique that had earned her the unofficial nickname of Battousai for its speed and power. Bunt, the light of evolution burning around him as the Mega Evolution struggled to maintain itself, instead converted that energy into a single massive giga impact.

The resulting blast was the biggest of the battle. Several of the psychic types tasked with maintaining a barrier between the arena and the audience nearly blew themselves out trying to contain it.

When the dust finally settled, it revealed a crater where the arena once was, and two unconscious Pokémon. A double knockout.

The referees called for patience as they tried to figure out who to declare the victor, but Rebecca and Ken weren’t done yet.

They each still had one participant left.

The stir the battle caused in the audience made it so that people almost didn’t notice the two trainers walking into the crater.

The announcer started calling for them to get out, but was stopped mid sentence by what those two did when they reached each other.

They punched each other in the face.

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1st Aug 2018, 11:02 AM
"I should probably just get an account "

Neither one was content to let the battle end while there was still someone able to fight. That someone being themselves.

Now under normal circumstances this wouldn’t be a fight at all. You have a tiny girl with the stopping power of a pool noodle vs a guy who regularly punches out Steelix. But the strain of three Mega Evolutions has made it so that it was a miracle Ken was able to breathe under his own power, much less throw a punch.

Security attempted to rush the arena, but were stopped by both the Trainers’ conscious Pokémon. Do you want to mess with a giant red metal bug that you just saw limp off a drop from LEO?

Those two ended up knocking each other out with a simultaneous headbutt before their Pokémon would let medical officials onto the scene.

Needless to say the two of them got disqualified for that stunt they pulled, and the team Breeder ended up becoming League Champion by default.

Our young couple went on many more adventures. Stopping evil teams, exploring untouched wilderness, and nearly one shotting Arceus with a Poke powered rail gun. But those are stories for another time.

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1st Aug 2018, 1:29 PM

I am now picturing Ratatouille as a followup campaign.

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1st Aug 2018, 1:50 PM

The pixar theory would be a fascinating way for a series of campaigns to be tied together.

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1st Aug 2018, 4:08 PM

“Ok what the hell! I said you were playing as animated children’s toys, why does Buzz have flight capabilities and a freaking LASER?!”
“I ask that you look at my sheet again, specially under ‘Disadvantages’”
“Let’s see... Delusional... all right carry on”

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2nd Aug 2018, 1:38 AM

Alternatively, in the Seuss universe.

"How the hell do you have a six thousand point character?"

"I'm playing a who gunslinger."

"What. Are you all playing whos?"

"No, just me."

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