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By the same author as Grand Line 3.5

Generic Greg

30th Jul 2018, 2:18 AM
"Story Time "

Let's keep this simple, kids.

Tell a story about a running gag, be it a joke, situation, or enemy!

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30th Jul 2018, 2:34 AM

I dropped my party in 10 round escape or die lethal freefalls so often they became punchlines. At first it was falling off a tower, their airship blowing up, the giant they were spelunking through vanished...

...then in the end it was just a hazing ritual done by older party members to the new ones. If you can't save yourself from plummeting half a mile to the ground, you didn't deserve to make it to second level anyway!

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30th Jul 2018, 2:55 AM

Let me tell you the tale of Nock. You see, Davrel is a fairly prolific inventor, adapting modern technological advances and ideas into magical devices. Through this, he has created much more advanced versions of existing mundane products.

Nowhere is that more evident than in his personal devices, though he has built some interesting weapons. In a story where he joins the justice league, he gathers a few dozen people around to test an identify spell. Green Arrow is present, and doesn't appreciate being used as a guinea pig, no matter how harmless Davrel, in his guise as Threshold, says it is.

Davrel tells him that as far as he understands, Green Arrow has been shorthanded since Speedy went solo. Right in front of Arrow, Davrel calls Nock, and tells him to report to Star City immediately to work alongside Green Arrow. Davrel laughs in a manner that leaves Arrow unsettled. He won't answer Arrows questions about Nock, either. This leads to this scene...

Green Arrow rushed home. Inside, the arrow cave, he heard a voice. "Hi there. The people will call me Nock. The villains will call me sir, if they know what's good for them. You can call me… partner." A two foot tall teddy bear stepped out of the shadows, wearing a blue hooded cloak and a black domino mask.

Green Arrow laughed. "Okay, okay. You got me. Now seriously." He shined a flashlight into the shadows, but saw nothing. "Okay, come on out." Teddy walked up to him. "Who are you looking for?" "My real partner." "I'm right here." "You're serious." "Yep! Threshold sent me to be your partner!" "Excuse me a moment."

He pulled out his communicator. "Threshold, are you there?" In a distant apartment, Threshold turned to Speedy and put a finger to his lips. "I'm here. What can I do for you?" "You can come get this sidekick you sent me." "One moment, let me make this a video call."

A screen appeared, and Arrow heard suppressed laughter as Davrel said, "How is Nock so far?" "It's a teddy bear. Who's that with you?" "Speedy. I came to inform him he's been replaced." "Yeah, okay, joke's over." "No joke. Put Nock through his paces if you don't believe me. If he's not up to snuff, you can dismiss him, but don't count him out just yet."

"You're serious." "Of course. He even has a secret identity so people don't recognize him. Nock?" Nock stepped out of the shadows wearing a tweed suit, a tie, and a hat. "You can call me Theodore Bearington." Speedy fell out of his chair laughing.

Arrow said, "This is ridiculous. I can't take him anywhere." "Already taken care of. Mister Bearington?" Theodore pulled out a wallet. "This is my wife, Ursina, in front of our new home." "What, no kids?" "Please don't joke about that in front of her. It's a sensitive subject."

Speedy laughed even harder. Davrel smiled. "I've taken the liberty of setting Mister Bearington up in a planned gated community over on thirty second street." "Thirty second is a dump!" "That was four hours ago. Tomorrow, it'll be a fine gated community for the long ignored Teddy population."

Speedy said, "Stop! You're killing me here!" Arrow groaned. "This is ridiculous." "You have a martian and at least three demigods on speed dial. Do you people never look in a mirror and say, 'My life is weird'?"


Teddies are one of Davrel's inventions, learning, sentient children's companions, but also perfectly suitable for adults.

Yes, this kind of dickery is typical. And if you think Nock would be easy to defeat in combat, you'd be wrong. Oh so horribly wrong. No matter the story or universe, if Davrel's there, "Hi! I'm Teddy!" is always present.

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30th Jul 2018, 5:32 AM

in an rpg based upon Rwby, where the characters were students at Beacon, my character with the ability to shapeshift was always using the shape of an ordinary cat when the head was there to see. They were stated to carry their weapon on their back while a cat, and had this habit of switching gender randomly while humanoid. They were also entirely insane

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30th Jul 2018, 11:24 AM

There are two reasons why an Astartes would get sent to Deathwatch. One is a sort of career fast track for those who served with distinction, basically a resume builder. The other reason is because you’ve screwed up enough that your chapter wants to get rid of you without just outright killing you.

Brother Whoopass fell into the latter category.

Despite being Cato Sicarius levels of unbearable, Whoopass was still quite a compentent Astartes. He had the highest kill count on his team, and a skill for unusual tactics. His unorthodox tactics usually involved the deployment of his signature weapon.

His signature weapon was a bus.

Not a rhino, or land raider, a civilian bus, usually packed to the brim with explosives.

Need to break into the planetary governor’s estate? Ram the front gate with a bus.

Need to destroy a tyranid spawning pool? Crash a bus filled with promethium into it.

Need to infiltrate Ork territory? Paint the bus purple and write “DER’Z NUFFIN ERE BOYZ!” on the side.

Of course, Brother Whoopass’s skill in vehicular combat wasn’t limited to buses. Once when a planet was about to be beset by tyranids, Whoopass and company found a ship that had been scuttled in the planet’s moon. It was still in working order, and even had a complementary Navigator thrown in to allow the ship to evacuate the maybe 400 people planetary population.

Whoopass turned it into an improvised vortex torpedo.

The blast managed to take out a good chunk of the tyranid ships, but there were still enough to overwhelm the planetary defenses. Eventually the situation had to be resolved with an improvised exterminatus, but that’s a story of another day.

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30th Jul 2018, 8:07 PM


... I love the fact that that would actually work.

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30th Jul 2018, 2:44 PM

So my Tiefling Wizard banged Titania queen of the Fairies (even became part fey for it)
Now everytime someone finds out, no matter who it is or the context of how they found out their response is a pause and then, "Nice"

Only exception is when his mom found out...and his mom is a Succubus her response, "Not surprise, she is easier than me"

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30th Jul 2018, 8:12 PM
"And the rats go "skree""

... I may have posted this before. But at one point we had a silly amount of rat swarms during an enounter, so many that they all couldn't reach the party.

Well during turn order I got into the habit of saying "and the rats go skree" for the rats that could not in fact reach the party, despite not being the GM.

Over time and a few campaigns this turned into an inside joke about all rats in general.

And then Skree god of rats (a oneshot creation) crawled out of the halfling rogue's braincase during a shared dream because of ilithilids.... and we had to fight that (it was supposed to be a TPK because I was pinch dming and then the party wakes up to find that one of the rogues had stabbed the ilithilids to death.) but one of the mages magic missiled it to death.

Now anytime the rats go skree, they're praying to Skree god of rats.

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30th Jul 2018, 3:38 AM
"Let me make you more comfortable..."

Ok so this little gem comes from the time I was running a dwarf kingdom building type game, all the players are playing the leaders who still adventure and loot but to build the kingdom. So we have people in charge and NPC taking up the slack and one player is the king, one of the magic items he has is the belt of Dwarvenkind so he's a Dwarf's Dwarf this goes well until he has to deal with a kingdom of elves. So remembering only after he enters the room that negotiations are in about the -2 on charisma based checks with non-dwarf he states that he removes the belt only realising what he was saying until he'd already said it. Kudos to the player though he rolled with it and followed it up with the title line which has long become a running gag for when games turn to negotiations.

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30th Jul 2018, 7:38 AM

Two short ones that I might have shared before:

One of the players in my V:TM larps always came up with great concepts that were beyond his ability to play in a way they would survive. Like being part of the mage clan while having a "magic-resistance" disadvantage.
We would have blocked his concepts, but he absolutely nailed the characters and followed the concept through to their end. His nickname? Lemming.

Another running joke from the same chronicle involved Robert. He was the inofficial fourth in our three-person GM team: The "No" GM. Whenever we had a "problem player" show up, one of those people who came up with stupid/broken concepts, we referred them to him.
"Let me play a Corax!"
"We're playing Vampire."
"It'll be rank one! I only want a single ritual!"
"I'm guessing that ritual would be Shard of the Sun? Which can dust an entire room of vampires in the blink of an eye?"
"Well, yeah, but only for self-defense!"
"Actually, that falls in to Rob's domain. You should talk to him."

And then the players would go to Robert, who's only job it was to listen to their demands, give it some consideration, and tell them "No". Over and over again.
Twenty years later, I still find myself muttering "Talk to Rob" whenever I get stuck with a person intent on winning an argument by stamina.

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30th Jul 2018, 9:42 AM

In a 5e campaign, one of the players was playing as a "3/4 orc" bard and would bring it up whenever he introduced himself.

One day, my mind slipped and I refered to him in character as being a "2/3 orc".

One of the other players thought this was hilarious, and from then on would try and spread rumors and "correct" people into believing that the Mr.3/4 really was a 2/3 orc, all to the chagrin/annoyance of the first guy who in turn became more insistent on stateing that he was a 3/4 orc.

The DM apperently thought the whole prolonged exchange was funny too, as it culminated with a kingdom that ended up essentially knowing the guy only as either "that 2/3 orc" or "that 3/4 orc", with each identity having it's own seperate reputation.

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30th Jul 2018, 6:19 PM

Oddly enough I had one based around this comic; one of my first games I was playing a ranger, one that was no stranger to attacks from above (at least that was how I justified it), so anytime the group would check for traps, I'd be the guy checking the roof. This was mostly due to how Cory is portrayed in the earlier pages, where he checks everything for traps.

In the end, before the group split, every session had to have me, at least once, check the roof, or up above us, for traps, to which everybody would joke was just my character giving a stern look to the ceiling

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Badlands Jonny

30th Jul 2018, 10:32 PM
"My favorite gamming story"

We were playing a super hero game. The underlings were a bit too easy for us in the first session. So without informing us (not that the GM needed too) the GM upped their armor and balanced it by putting an activation roll on it. This made the encounters more balanced and great fun was had by all.
Then came the fateful encounter in the hanger of the big bad guy’s base. The doors opened and we were greeted by a large group of underlings and a hover tank. I was playing a hero with a lot of strength. On my turn I was rushing the tank when an underling blocked my way. I took a swing at him. The GM rolled. He looked up and said “mmm…he failed his armor check.” Being that I was very strong he took a lot of damage and knock back…into the tank…he failed his armor check again…and took a bunch more damage. The GM with a wicked glee in his eyes (redundant?) said “You hit the underling, he flies back into the tank and he slowly slides down leaving a wet streak. We all froze as we absorbed this most unheroic act. The GM then says the nearest underling yells out “He greased Joey!” I got a sinking feeling. Which was confirmed when EVERY weapon in the place was fired upon me. I barely survived and it was my turn to experience knockback…all the way out of the hanger. On the up side the rest of the team took advantage of that distraction to get into position to bring the fight to a close quickly. From that day on whenever the first henchman, underling, follower, etc. goes down we all yell out “He/She greased Joey!” This has become such a beloved story in our group we had to have dice offs to see who gets to tell it to newcomers.

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31st Jul 2018, 2:12 AM


Man, I have got to use that someday. And I remember a time when we ruined a clandestine meeting and sent everyone running after the transaction failed. We all were shouting "THE MEET HAS GONE BAD! THE MEET HAS GONE BAD!"

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31st Jul 2018, 6:51 AM

Our ranger had tamed a blink dog as his pet. One day when he didn't show up the DM said his character had 'gotten the flu' and jokingly added that, every time he sneezed, he'd blink around because he got it from the blink dog. A running joke started immediately in that, every time someone couldn't make it, their character would get the 'blink flu' and have to sit out because they were randomly teleporting around. Everyone got it except the paladin, who had perfect attendance (and immunity to diseases).

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31st Jul 2018, 4:55 PM

i quite like running gags. generaly, if something fun happen in the first fews encounter with a npc or a certain situation, and i see enough potential for variation, i try to bring it back.
Now this story is something i had little parts in: We where four, I, Haste, was half sleeping while the others tried to negociate with the Regent that we had offended before realising that we needed his help. Enemies launched a surprise attack, we fight, someone attack the regent from behind, Sir Palestre, he Paladin dramatically charge to slice the assaillant head...and accidentally severely hurt the regent.
Much later, after spliting the party, i and the Druon the barbarian met with a old enemy and half a dozen of his mens. Barbie by coincidentally happening to say the right thing, convince him to help us introduce the next bad guy's lair. just as we're about to shake hands, the Paladin find us, think we're in trouble, and to help us jump on the guy and knock him out (admittedly, considering how much of a jerk that enemy had been before, i can't really blame him for getting the wrong idea). he thankfully did'nt kill him, since killing a guy from behind was against his principle, but we had trouble convincing the guy that it was all a simple misunderstanding.
Later, someone decide to get in a friendly duel with the Palestre, as part of the celebrations of the newly sealed alliance we had concluded. but the Paladin, after winning and disarming the oponent, dramatically throw the sword in the air. Of course, he pay great attention to not throw it so that it does'nt accidentally stab the lord when it fell...but it accidentally it the chandelier. the seen balanced, fell and nearly crushed the lord, who avoided it only because the ranger saw it coming and jumped to push him out of the way.
After that one, eveytime we had to conduct any kind of diplomacy, we suggested tying the Paladin's hands to make sure he does'nt cause any accident. And we even actually did it once. There was also that session where after Palestre player kept making bad roll, i suggested we tiy his hands and prevent him from making other rolls.

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5th Aug 2018, 11:44 PM

In my current Mutants and Masterminds game, we have one newer teen player and several more experienced adult players.
I am playing a cranky old redneck gun nut named Shotgun Bill.
He is playing a young up and coming hero.

Anyway, he keeps making rookie mistakes, so nearly every time they interact he has a shotgun pointed at him and Shotgun Bill is pissed off.

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