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Page 592 in The Baratie
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Average Rating: 5
Number of people who have voted: 1


By the same author as Grand Line 3.5
Comments:

Raxon

Raxon




3rd Sep 2014, 12:01 AM
"Story time!"

Tell a story about a character who became a laughing stock, even though it was meant to be serious.

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LazerWulf

LazerWulf




3rd Sep 2014, 12:56 AM

So there we were, stumbling into a literal den of thieves, when we suddenly find ourselves face-to-face with their leader, Torgoth the Relentless. He was a half-orc barbarian, several levels higher than we were, so it was supposed to be a tough boss fight. So our Dwarven Fighter rushed up to stand toe-to-toe, marking him to distract Torgoth from the rest of us, who were busy wiping out his flunkies. We feared for the safety of the dwarf, but then something happened that I have never seen repeated. Torgoth missed on all of his attacks. Every. Single. One. So by the time the battle was over, this unfortunate boss had earned a new moniker: Torgoth the Inaccurate.

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Alice




3rd Sep 2014, 12:58 AM

In my current group, that's probably Victoria. She has this serious dramatic backstory about her town being attacked, her child being killed, and her husband being captured and sent into slavery. ...but we tend to think of her as twerky Mctwerks alot, hitter of children and killer of the mentally challenged.

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Raxon

Raxon




3rd Sep 2014, 1:22 AM

Let me tell you the story of Big Bad Jon.

Big John was a mountain of a man, standing 7'6", and weighed 445lbs. Broad in the shoulder and strong in the hip. He didn't talk much, he was kinda quiet and shy. If you talked to him, he mostly just said hi.

He was a dwarf fighter with gigantism who dual wielded picks.

Seriously. I know he was based on a Jimmy Dean song, but I played him as a straight character. He did have high strength and good rolls, though. (Really good rolls. No stat under fifteen! Three perfect 18s.)

Still not sure why everyone found it hilarious. Aside from the fact his character image was this, he really wasn't anything special.

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Silenc




3rd Sep 2014, 6:31 AM
"The firing squad"

We were playing DnD 3.5 in a quite usual setting when we were caught up in some time travel. We went to an alternate timeline, where musketeers were predominant, to assasinate a grand vezir.
Of course we got into trouble. At some point we were sitting in a bar, when a firing squad entered and told us to surrender. We didn't much care and one of us made a rude comment. Thus we were shot. But since we were rather high level, our first actions were: looking angry, putting down our beer, leisurely standing up and looking menacingly at the musketeers, while they were frantically reloading.

I think they were meant to scare us....

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Anvildude




11th Sep 2014, 6:37 PM

And a perfect example of why Firearms (and ranged weapons in general) need a serious overhaul in how they handle damage- Personally, I think all projectile weapons should get to add the Dex mod as bonus damage- and Firearms should have a rather higher Crit chance than other weapons- because while you can potentially survive an arrow through your neck, you're not going to survive the same shot from a .50 cal miniball.

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Ed




3rd Sep 2014, 9:01 AM

Brazilian version of the Monster Manual translated "Gibbering Mouther" as "Abocanhador Matraqueante", that sounds basically as "Chatty Biter".

That name is really stupid and everyone giggle when they hear it.

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Malroth




3rd Sep 2014, 4:31 PM

to be fair "Gibbering Mouther" Is no prize winner either

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MFG




3rd Sep 2014, 10:37 PM
""What a stroke of luck!""

One game my group played found us finally making our way through a city's underground and finding the local criminal kingpin. Who turned out to be a gnome, which we just could not handle. He tried over and over to threaten and intimidate us and we just refused to take him seriously. He kept getting progressively angrier (The character, the DM thought our reaction was hilarious), until suddenly the DM stops and rolls a d20. I don't know if he rolled a 1 or a 20, but he declared the end result to be the mob boss getting so furious that he spontaneously combusted.

TL;DR we shattered a criminal network by taunting a guy to death.

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Draylon




7th Sep 2014, 10:28 PM
"Wrong Picture"

We had a friend who was just recently joining us for dnd, he had written up a classic tragic backstory of village slaughter and etc, he played the character seriously, but the problem was he had chosen a manly woman for his picture but hadnt realized it was a woman, so there were constant jokes about it.

I feel that my new character which i shall be trying to play seriously, will become a laughing stock. We decided to randomly roll base classes, you can only take that class until you prestige out, and if you have played that class before you reroll until you get a class you haven't played before.

I got the Mountebank base class, it is so bad it is unbelieveable, it only has one potentially good ability and even then it only works once a day per person as a debuff for someone else to take advantage of, and all its abilities scale off mountebank lvls so once i prestige out the ability will become useless very fast.

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Poker




24th Oct 2017, 4:54 PM

eh? I do more in the "this sound really stupid, but is in fact quite a legitimate threat"

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Jack Trowell




3rd Sep 2014, 5:15 AM

In a D&D 4th edition campaign that I run, there was a time when the players had a NPC character with them, he was the chief trying to free women from his clan that had been captured by slaver while the warriors where aways. He was a decent fighter, but nowhere near the power level of the PC, and came with a few minions warriors from the clan.
In theory, the PCs were expected to protect him and his minions, balancing the help they could bring in a fight with the risk of having them killed.
In practice, the chief almost never missed an attack roll, made several critical hits against tough opponents, and when they tried to attack him I got a ridiculous number of low rolls, I'm not even sure that the character was even bloodied (half HP) once.
Near the end, this supposedly serious and tragic character (I expected him to probably die fighting to save the captives) became a joke for my players, sort of "Chuck Norris" meet "Highlander" unkillable invincible fighter.

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Malroth




3rd Sep 2014, 6:03 AM

We were lv 4 in a 3.P campaign when we were ambushed by the BBEG's Lieutenant A High level Anti-Paladin sniping us from Wyvern back 500 feet up in the air with poisoned arrows,(CR9 encounter minimum only the start of our vastly over inflated battles) When our Gnome had a plan, he Cast true strike on our zen archer monk and had him wait till next turn, then had the Monk shoot the enemies bow with an arrow with 1000 feet of string tied to it while the Wizard Cast Animate rope while me the Norseman Druid, My Bear animal Companion, the party horse and my permanently summoned Earth elemental companion got to play tug-o-war with the wyvern. 1 round later there was a LOT of falling damage, Misclaneous Wyvern meat that was the first and last loot we ever got in that campaign and 1 heavily wounded evil Knight magicaly tied up and stuffed in a box.

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Mask




3rd Sep 2014, 10:56 AM

During a 5th edition hero system gamma world campaign, our party encountered a gang of angry bandits one of which wore amazingly fruity purple pants. After soundly thrashing the bandits their commander was given the unfortunate nickname of Fruity mc Fruitfruit.

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guy




4th Sep 2014, 12:55 AM

Not sure if this counts, and I may have told this story before, but here goes;
For a while, I used to go to, and then moved up to occasionally running this D&D Encounters group. And we had this one guy who just refused to understand the rules.
Example #1: A pixie who rode on a bear. That in of itself, however, is neither against the rules, nor particularly stupid. What IS stupid, however, is that he tried to switch from his lance to his sword mid battle, and because he can only shrink one weapon per battle - he was tiny size - after he released the enchantment on his spear, he was left with no usable weapons.
Example #2: The Ranger/Warlock Hybrid.
To make a long story short, this build not only did not work, as he was trying to overlap powers that EXPLICITLY STATED they did not overlap, but the sacrifices he had to make for this non functional build were so crippling that even if it HAD worked, it would not have been worth it.
Bad hit points, no armour proficiencies whatsoever - leaving him with an AC of 10, because his intelligence and Dexterity were terrible - and combat tactics that forced him to remain in melee spelled death for him rather quickly.
Every time this guy came to the table, he would go on and on about the strength of his new build, and I gained no small amount of private amusement when it inevitably came crashing down on his head.
Usually, I try to be a fair DM - I actually encourage creativity and originality in both character design and in-world actions, as I believe that the DM's job is not to tell a story, but to create and maintain a world in which the players can tell one. You create an over powered hero? Then I will create a suitable challenge, and not just cut you off at the knees with cheap tactics because I want to remain in control. Nor do I usually insist that anyone fully comprehend the trillions of rules that a game has; It's just that I don't put up with obnoxiousness from someone who isn't trying very hard.

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Raxon

Raxon




4th Sep 2014, 6:16 PM

I enjoy making the occasional incredibly broken character, especially ones that look amazing. High stats, powerful feats, and cool character concepts.

And then I actually play them. Hoo boy. They are absolute crap in combat, despite having good stats and builds.

I actually built this one guy around the old greek concept of an antihero. A dude who posed as a hero, and tried to be a hero, but just doesn't live up. Nobody saw it coming. Even Supreme Cleave couldn't make this guy anything more than slightly underpowered. He was a modified Samurai class. No, not the good one, the broken one. I gave him a bunch of anime inspired moves, including a once a week instant kill move where he dashes past an enemy and slices them. And then they die at the end of his turn.

Seriously, you would think this guy would be awesome, and he was really really good for taking out massive hoards of minions. Like, really, really good. When I introduced him at 7th level, he made his debut by supreme cleaving all the way through fifty minions, then sliced one of the two minibosses in half. In one turn. I rolled really damn well. True, I could only fail to kill them on a one, but still, rolled the die fifty times, and never got a single one. Buuuut it turns out he was not very useful against anything that was actually a threat.

He dealt low damage outside of his 'tranquil focus', a mechanic I made up for his instakill and a few other abilities. He had a limited about of focus, which granted him extremely powerful strikes, most of which had long cool downs anyway. While he looked amazing on paper, when actually played, he had a use, and that use was clearing the cannon fodder minions out of the way so that the real badasses could handle the boss without interruption. I based the whole idea on some guy from an anime. He kept getting these upgrades. He was always getting more powerful, but anytime he fought the hero, he was nothing more than a glorified speed bump.

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Arkh Cthuul




4th Sep 2014, 4:52 PM

How did a Ranger Hybrid end up with NO Armor Prof?
Otherwise, yeh, overlapping Warlock and Ranger MIGHT prove worthwhile if you only dip Warlock for 1-2 of his great Least Invocations (See the Unseen is MADE for Rangers anyway^^).

Anyway, yes, we ahve one of those.

The "Horror": Chaos corrupted to the Core, mutated until he had Har all over, was huge, had Gargantuan Hands with Colossal Fingers, BLindense, was immune against most stuff, dropped poisonous Acid and could cause Madness with a touch (Chaos and Madness Cleric).

However, he started out as a Tree. So all that kept being said was "Hey, hes a Walking tree, someone call Durkeon, ┬┤cause DA TREES BE ATTACKING!".

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Malroth




4th Sep 2014, 5:43 PM

he's talking about 4th ed and stacking rangers mark with warlock's curse both of which burn swift actions to buff your single target damage by considerable amounts but as 4th ed is pretty much tabletop everquest class roles are very defined and multiclassing is both bothersome and deliberately worthless.

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Malroth agian




4th Sep 2014, 6:02 PM

in 3.5 Warlock with a ranger dip or ranger with a Warlock dip could be a quite viable mid tier ranged attacker With invisibility, the ability to see through invisibility and magical darkness, the ability to ranged sunder, walk on walls and celings, fly, dispel, and create 0 cost zombie meat walls all of which are of immense help to archer builds especially since none of them will take up in combat actions.

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JediSSJ




6th Sep 2014, 11:28 PM

Here is a serious character I had in a campaign who quickly became a laughing stock:
His name was Bastian. It was taken from a Fire Emblem character he somewhat resembled. He was an NPC Sorcerer with the dragon bloodline (Pathfinder). He worked for the king and was a sort of quest-giver and aid to the PCs. He was also actually a gold dragon in disguise. Pretty decent guy for an NPC. The problem was his name. As something of a noble, he often got honorifics added to his name when spoken of/to by commoners. That is until I (as GM) had one of the stable boys refer to him as Master Bastian. Seconds after saying it I realized he would need a new name.

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Arkh Cthuul




7th Sep 2014, 5:13 PM

Ah yes, 4th. The D&D Edition I completely skipped. ;)

And yes, thats the Ideas I ahd too (alright, my Warlock/Noble Scion HAS, in 3.75...).

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Guest




23rd Dec 2016, 6:26 PM

the Snarky 'Superhero'
ASSHOLE MAN!

a joke character that turned out even more ridiculous then planned.

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