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Page 572 in The Baratie
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Average Rating: 5
Number of people who have voted: 3


By the same author as Grand Line 3.5
Author Notes:

DragonTrainer

DragonTrainer



18th Jul 2014, 12:00 AM

So... I just rewatched the Baratie fight scene and... I immediately regret trying to turn it into a Davy Back Fight. >_>

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Comments:

Halosty




18th Jul 2014, 12:03 AM
"Regret"

Ah, such regret for that. Well, there are several fights so those could be individual matches. *shrugs* Or they could just call the whole thing off and have a good ol brawl :P

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Raxon

Raxon




18th Jul 2014, 12:49 AM

Yeah, I hated the Davy Back Games. All of it was so out of character for Luffy. He would never gamble his friends like that.

Though I must admit, the final battle against Foxy was soooo satisfying.

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Wildhair




18th Jul 2014, 7:44 AM

Well luffy didnt realize what a davy back fight was until he agreed to it... he thought he was getting into an actual fight

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faulcon




22nd Jul 2014, 12:32 AM

The davy back games were when I quit reading the manga. I've heard it got better again after that but I still haven't built up the motivation to resume it.

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Raxon

Raxon




18th Jul 2014, 12:04 AM

Contrary to popular belief, Zeff's tuna cake is actually delicious.

Story time is about recipes! Give me some good ones!

My contribution is a recipe for paint thinner chili!

You will need;
3 cups dried pinto beans or three cans pinto beans
2 cups rice
2 lbs stew meat
4 large green chilis, or one large can green chilis
3-5 roma tomatoes, or 1 1/2 cans of tomatoes
3-5 tbsp chili seasoning, depending on preference
2 heaping tbsp minced garlic
3 large onions
1 tbsp ginger, or one inch fresh ginger, finely diced or minced
1 tbsp wasabi or horseradish
1/2 tsp fresh ground cinnamon
3 tsp mesquite
2 tsp liquid smoke
1/2 cup smooth peanut butter, not crunchy
1 tbsp Dave's insanity sauce or equivalent

Simmer the beans for four hours to prep, and brown the stew meat. Pour out bean water, and add four cups water. Add meat, rice, onions, chili seasoning, garlic, wasabi, tomatoes, and everything else. Simmer for two hours, stirring as often as is practical. When rice has plumped up, give the chili at least another hour of simmering before serving.

Do not directly inhale fumes. Do not add to pot after midnight. Do not expose to direct sunlight. For internal use only. Consult your doctor before dropping a fat sack of reefer in paint thinner chili. If you are pregnant, nursing, or may become pregnant, please eat responsibly. Do not taunt Paint Thinner Chili.

EDIT: After a while, the rice will soak up all the water and form a sort of chili loaf. This does not affect the flavor. It doese, however, change the texture a bit, firming it up. The rice is just filler. For a more flavorful filler, consider using barley, or soba noodles.

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Guest




18th Jul 2014, 12:23 AM

Take any dish, add soy sauce, keep from retching, DONE!

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Solokov




18th Jul 2014, 2:54 AM
"Sweet and firery chili colororado"

This one is one recipe we found in my Abuela's cookbook a couple years ago that she brought over from Costa rica while the Third Reich was still around.

Translated from Spanish.

1 pound fresh tomatillos
1 jalapeno pepper halved and seeded
1/4 cup adobo sauce with 1 smoked jalapeno chili diced and mixed in no seeds or ribs (we think this is what is now called a chipotle pepper)
1/4 cup grated Piloncillo (cane sugar, unrefined, look in your mexican foods area)
2 pounds chicken or beef or hog chunked
1 large sweet red onion chopped
3-4 toes garlic minced
5 ounces mixed mild peppers, seeded and chopped (Anaheim, poblano, wax, sweet bell)
#10 can of chicken beef or hog broth
dash of cumin
pinch of salt
cooking oil (originally lard)


Chop the tomatillos and jalapeno up together and set aside.

Heat dutch oven, or cast iron cooking pot add oil, take the meat of your choice and fry it gently till seared on all sides, set aside.

Fry the onions till see through, add in minced garlic and cook for a little bit longer. Add in the other chilies, meat and cumin, let cook a little before adding the tomatillo and jalepeno.

Let the tomatillos cook down till they're softened then add the adobo, chipotle and Piloncillo. It should thicken up as the tomatillos cook down more, add in meat broth as needed to thicken to liking.

Serve hot over rice, or cook the onions and tomatillos down and then set aside to cool into a nice chili for dipping with chips.

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BakaGrappler




18th Jul 2014, 4:52 AM

Bachelor's Steam Baked, Sweet and Sour Chicken

Form a chicken marinade from:
Soy Sauce
Honey or Maple syrup
Fresh cut up ginger
Garlic

Marinate chicken in a sealed plastic bag starting from the morning before work. When you get home form a pouch out of aluminum foil and dump the marinated chicken AND the marinade into it. Close the foil around the chicken and seal it shut to prevent steam from escaping. Add any desired vegetables, and cook for 1 hour at 350 degrees F. Empty contents over a bed of rice, and start eating once it is cooled off. You don't even need to add any sauce to the rice, and clean up is a snap!

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solokov




18th Jul 2014, 4:14 PM
"That one's going into the cookbook."

No seriously.... too bad I have no AC otherwise I'd be baking bread instead of buying it from the grocery store.

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Malroth




18th Jul 2014, 8:21 AM

Ginger Wasabi and Cinamon in a chili? Really? of couse thats why i probably wind up using about 5-7 times as much chilipowder as you do

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Raxon

Raxon




18th Jul 2014, 12:38 PM

Yeah. I have experimented with it, and it comes out pretty good. The ginger adds some kick, as does the wasabi. You might add an extra tablespoon of chili seasoning, but you don't want it overpowering. This is a fairly balanced chili recipe.

You can add chili powder, if you like, but it really doesn't need it.

It is hard to ruin chili just by adding a few things. Also, you complain about the ginger and wasabi and cinnamon, but say nothing about the peanut butter? The chili seasoning is going to be very potent. It needs strong flavors to balance it. Even the cinnamon takes a backseat here, though you will smell the cinnamon throughout the house as it cooks.

The ginger and wasabi will mostly cook out, leaving a mild flavor behind. The cinnamon becomes an undertone. The peanut butter adds a bit of texture, though the flavor is too mild to taste.

Heck, I once made seafood chili, with chopped seaweed, scallops, shrimp, and other stuff. It came out fantastic.

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Malroth




20th Jul 2014, 9:38 PM

I'm from Texas with a Mexican Grandmother I'm already quite familliar with how Peppers can cover up the presence of peanut butter from making Mole Pablano

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Disloyal Subject

Disloyal Subject




18th Jul 2014, 11:59 PM
"Eh, just eyeball it"

Oooh, sounds good.
Let's see... Meatbread I'm still experimenting with, and my mashed potatoes recipes basically boil down to making mashed potatoes and adding copious amounts of mozzarella cheese until it's stringy, but I have a formula I favor for smoothies.

Assemble approximately
Three parts each of: blueberries, diced banana
One part each of: peaches, raspberries
Two parts each of: blackberries, apple juice, yoghurt
Blend to a uniformly smooth magenta glop and enjoy. Best when fruits are frozen until mixing begins.

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xuincherguixe

xuincherguixe




18th Jul 2014, 1:23 AM

Little do they know that actually is his log. He just wrote it in cake recipe code.

In hindsight it might be a bit obvious. What kind of mad man would use that much peanut butter in their recipes? Would clearly have to be quite obsessed.

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Raxon

Raxon




18th Jul 2014, 11:31 AM

In his defense, I have about a hundred or more recipes for chili. But then, chili is a hobby of mine.

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xuincherguixe

xuincherguixe




19th Jul 2014, 4:53 PM

@Raxon

You would hardly be keeping in the spirit of Deadpool if you didn't!

@Silentking

Want to say yes and no. While it wasn't a reference was sort of on my mind. But even then it seemed like something that could have been in a table top game. ("Wait. The Encryption Key is based on the order of these autographed baseball cards the CEO has laying around in the room? That's so stupid. Also we're stealing the baseball cards. And burning his carpet.")

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Silentking




19th Jul 2014, 1:36 AM

Is that a Full Metal Alchemist reference, or just a coincidence? (Alchemists put all of their findings and experiment logs in code. And I believe the code for making a philosopher stone was in a recipe code)

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Spare Parts




18th Jul 2014, 7:35 AM
"stuffed dates"

walnuts
marzipan
dates (duh)

Roll half a walnut into a ball of marzipan. Stuff a pitted date with it. It also works with dried dates. It also works with hazelnuts or almonds. In fact it tastes better with those.

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Haley




18th Jul 2014, 8:01 AM
"Treasure"

Tell a story of when the treasure wasn't what you thought it would be.

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Raxon

Raxon




18th Jul 2014, 2:11 PM

Once upon a time, one of my players saved a princess, whom the king had referred to as the treasure of his land. Rather than just return her, he decided to shtoink her, marry her, and become king. The naive princess did as she was asked, disrobing and lying on the bed. The bed collapsed, but he ignored that. "Okay, how are you going to do this?"

"I'm gonna thrust in fast and show her who's boss!"

"Congratulations, you hit something solid and unyielding inside her. You just broke your penis."

"The hell!? I stab the bitch!"

"Your knife goes half an inch into her chest and stops. You hit something solid and break the tip off."

Turns out the princess was a terminator style golem, made of solid gold, but covered in living skin.

She did not appreciate his attempts to skin her.

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SeriousBiz




18th Jul 2014, 6:56 PM

Wait, so the PC (going by his actions and choice of words) is an extreme misogynist, a manipulative rapist, and probably a serial killer.

That's pretty bad even by the usual PC/murder hobo standards. If this is a recurring theme in said player's characters, I worry about the people you play your games with, Raxon. And this time, not for their sake.

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Raxon

Raxon




18th Jul 2014, 9:34 PM

That was a rare instance, though I have played with people who were so utterly without redeeming qualities that you would not believe.

FYI, if you are a hippy, you do not make perfume by watering down vanilla extract with whiskey. Do not build a campaign where I instantly fail the quest if I defend myself when attacked by kobolds. Do not dock me xp for hunting in order to cook for the group. Do not declare that I succumbed to disease because I ate deer. It was a perfectly healthy deer, as my ranger with several ranks in survival(forest) would know. We do not want to play a campaign where our battle hardened warriors have to talk ALL the bad guys into changing their ways because we're all suddenly pacifists now, by order of a god, then, when I say I worship a different god, by all gods, everywhere. The lady of pain descended from Sigil and branded us with marks that caused us to lose all will to fight.

Yeah, we never let that girl DM again.

The princess was actually rather taken with the tall, strong knight in gleaming silver armor who saved her. Then he seduced her, and she was amenable, she just didn't realize he only wanted to marry her for her kingdom.

The cooch full of gold was not an on the spot invention. She was a golem all along. After his horrible attempt to woo her, he... panicked, I guess is the word. He overreacted because he thought she did it on purpose, and tried to stab her, but his masterwork dagger broke on the solid gold that made up everything under her skin. When he saw the gold inside her, he tried to skin her, and she did not like that. I gave over ten hints the princess wasn't human, and nobody picked up on it. Fortunately, after all the commotion, they others came in to check on them. She was sooo apologetic, but at the same time, horrified that she wasn't 'a real woman'.

To be fair, that guy was pretty cool, but he was playing true to his character, who was a scheming, manipulative bastard, and secretly evil.

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Malroth




18th Jul 2014, 10:03 PM

Lets see Human sized statue of gold, Art object worth MAYBE 3,000 gp at most. Minimum GP value of a free willed construct with an INT score capable of replicating disguise self continously 80,000 GP. Wasting 77,000 GP because he panicked = Failure even at being an evil murder-hobo

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Raxon

Raxon




18th Jul 2014, 10:39 PM

No, not disguise self, it was more like a skinsuit made from biomancy. Basically, she was a solid gold golem with a layer of flesh golem over her. And she believed herself to be human.

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Malroth




18th Jul 2014, 10:54 PM

Yeah, but what would you use as a guideline on how difficult/expensive she was to create if you had some insane inventor gnome PC saying he wanted to create one of his own?

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Raxon

Raxon




18th Jul 2014, 10:58 PM

She was an epic level artifact, well over 3 million gold, and requiring almost a million xp. Realistically, it would take a level 30-40 wizard or artificer to create.

Very, very valuable. Not terribly useful except as an ageless beautiful caretaker or assistant.

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Solokov




18th Jul 2014, 11:11 PM
"Or perhaps...."

an ageless beautiful successor to the 30th level artifacter once he/she kicks the bucket.


I do have one that basically ended at the twilight zone episode "how to serve man". Though the rogue translated the "book of faith" that was being passed around by the ever so friendly cult that had come into town looking for converts willing to travel across the seas with them.

...yeah we burned their ships down before the ticket counter could be fully built due to the volume of "converts" that they had to process. (the gm did not expect such a good roll on his part and convinced damn near all of waterdeep to be converts).

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SeriousBiz




19th Jul 2014, 3:45 AM

Ooookay, now I worry a bit about you, too, if the first alternative to wanton cruelty and misogyny that you think of is believing that eating meat and defending yourself from an attack are evil acts. :D Cool story, nevertheless. People can be weird when dealing with alignments. Then again, I don't recommend my games to anyone who believes that a PC who acts like Drizzt Do'Urden can be considered good-aligned...

Yeah, I kind of gathered the guy was playing an evil character. The reason I worry about his reactions and choice of words is that talking about "showing her who's boss" when preparing to have sex is pretty clear rapist talk (unless they had some consensual BDSM thing going on that you didn't mention), and true to character or not, one has to have genuine understanding of how rapists and serial killers think in order to stay in character so well in such surprising situations. So yeah. I hope that guy is just a very good actor with real knowledge of the mindset of such people.

Well, that went into a dark place. Who wants to see cute puppies? Go here: http://www.st-andrews.ac.uk/nightline/wp-content/uploads/puppies.jpeg

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Raxon

Raxon




19th Jul 2014, 5:56 AM

The hippy bitch was an example of one of the people with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. She was a freaking terrible DM. Literally, she called gods down to force us to be pacifists and never fight or kill or eat meat. Oh, and all creatures are actually good, if you give them a chance. Except machine races like warforged. They're pure evil.

Oh, but we can't fight the warforged, no, that would be aggressing.

I admit that the whole living creatures versus machines thing could have been awesome if handled really well. As it was, we talked the drow into being flower children, and convinced a beholder that gentle kindness and love for all races was totally the way to go. And we could only run or "passive resist" the warforged. Passive resistance does not work against an oppressor who just wants to murder you for no reason other than the fact you're still breathing.

I have met some bad players and bad DMs. The worst ones bring real life politics into a game that should not have them.

Like this guy who created a catholic paladin and went around converting people at swordpoint, which, while entertaining, could have been done with dozens of existing deities, rather than just having him order them to serve god, which is a confusing order in a world with dozens or hundreds of gods.

On another side, a feminazi DM who singled me out because I dared to be a man in the group. I commented on her here or at FiD. She decided she didn't like my paladin having a devoted, kind, gentle wife who worked in essentially a hospice. "I didn't like it, so I changed her."

My wife left me because she was actually a lesbian, walked out on her job at the hospice, and I was forced to take her place, because my battle hardened paladin was honor bound to keep the promises of his household, including his wife's. So it was work there, or lose my paladinhood.

Clearly, I was needed there, rather than patrolling the streets for the serial killer on the loose.

I swear, real life politics have no business being in D&D.

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xuincherguixe

xuincherguixe




19th Jul 2014, 5:00 PM

I'd say that real life politics could have a place in D&D. If handled maturely and with an open mind.

So yeah. No mixing real life politics with D&D.

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Raxon

Raxon




19th Jul 2014, 6:47 PM

I tried it once. The group decided, "hell no we're not letting the hirelings unionize!

And then there was the political elections. Where everybody voted for a write in candidate; A Gibbering Mouther.

I did not expect the guys to murder so many people just because they were afraid(with good reason) that if they let the hirelings unionize, they would turn into teamsters, costing far, far too much, requiring them to hire too many people, and wasting too much time on union breaks. This, of course, came from personal experience.(Really? Five grand to move some furniture and use a truck across town? Do you really need six guys to do in four hours what I can do with two willing dudes in three? And why the hell would you tack on six dudes to a freaking truck rental!?)

The election, however, was just silly fun, because the gibbering mouther's name was spelled with drool and teeth marks. I specifically told the group, any politics, and all the characters die. It was a silly thing. Turning it into a political debate is stupid and not tolerated.

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Malroth




19th Jul 2014, 9:25 PM

I for one fully support our GibberingMouther Overlords

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SeriousBiz




20th Jul 2014, 2:32 PM

I have to disagree with the claim that real life politics don't have a place in D&D, simply for the fact that many of the ideas and premises in heroic fantasy are already heavily politically colored. Ideas aren't formed in a vacuum, but are molded by the beliefs of the writers, and political stances always creep into places you wouldn't expect. At its core, Lovecraftian horror is a very political genre with heavily racist overtones. The many problematic elements within LotR have been discussed to death. That doesn't mean you can't like them (because I do), just that you should be aware of their problematic dimensions and treat them with more care than just accepting them as a given.

It's a mistake to believe that only games that challenge many widely accepted political ideas count as political. Politics come into play to some extent every time we interact with a group of other people, and in a fantasy setting, this extends to non-humans also. Personally, I would be really uncomfortable playing a fully traditional fantasy game, since those often paint entire races as "evil", and portray unnecessary cruelty towards perceived "evil" or "lesser" people as somehow a good thing. To me, those are very political stances I don't agree with. Heck, Tolkien later admitted that all orcs cannot possibly be evil, or the morality system of Middle-earth doesn't make a lick of sense.

Admittedly, a lot of the problems with D&D and politics are tied into the alignment system. If there's anything salvageable from the clusterfuck that is F.A.T.A.L., it's the replacement of the politically polarizing "good-evil" axis with "moral-immoral", which doesn't make a statement about ethics on a wider scale, only about the personal outlook of the character.

But an extended discussion of the inherently political aspects of traditional fantasy is outside the scope of the comments section of a humor comic, so I'll just drop it for now.

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Raxon

Raxon




20th Jul 2014, 6:11 PM

Okay, I totally get what you're saying. But let me add to that. It is unwise to have controversial real life political situations or people make cameos.

I for example, have seen a guy fill a game with cameos of modern politicians as villains, and encouraged us to kill them. I will not say who we were tasked to kill, but the character was a twisted caricature to the point he was a militant, fascist, slavemonger who murdered drow because they offended his eyes. Giving someone an uncreative name like Gorge Bushka or Boll Kilnton will just irritate people. At least don't make it obvious that this is supposed to be a real life person.

I should have specified. Real life modern politics is a bad idea unless you really know your players.

Not gonna say that freeing a slave race is wrong, or fighting to bring equality is a bad idea, just try not to ruin the game by dividing the group.

Unless that's the plan, and you want them to bicker, but ultimately come to a peaceable solution.

You clever bastard.

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xuincherguixe

xuincherguixe




20th Jul 2014, 9:16 PM

I point to my earlier statement about handling things maturely and with an open mind.

Here's a good litmus test. Can the PCs realistically take a conflicting position to the one you're representing?

I like the idea that the PCs come across evidence that some lobbyists from an oil company are trying to discredit scientists that have found evidence of global warming. The teams Sniper might not believe in climate change either, but is still disgusted by their approach.

Or they might decide they don't particularly care about exposing "the truth" (what good what that even do?) and would rather just blackmail the lobbyists.


Honestly this is a lot of why I prefer modern settings.

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Dai Gurren Rabbit




22nd Jul 2014, 11:58 PM
"Wait Drizzt is evil?"

I'm confused here SeriousBiz. You say that PC's who act like Drizzt can't be considered good aligned. Either you have a very poor grasp of alignments or I seriously missed some big developments in the books. Last I checked while Drizzt could murderhobo like the best of them he always was a good guy. Protect those who need help, fight so others don't have to, hang out with dwarves, all good things. Heck I'm pretty sure a good chunk of his development is that for as much as he wants to help people all he's good at is murderhoboing, which is fine when dealing with goblin warbands or drow invasions but one guy with some swords isn't going to be able to fix socio-economic issues no matter how many things he stabs. Now if you're talking about players who make Chaotic Good Dark Elf Rangers who duel wield scimitars and have a big cat companion then we're talking about something completely different.

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mistriousfrog

mistriousfrog




19th Jul 2014, 3:46 AM

There are few things more fun than shocking a PC with a surprise that they should have seen coming because they did something stupid.

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Disloyal Subject

Disloyal Subject




18th Jul 2014, 11:52 PM
"Gold is overrated; silver and platinum are superior currency."

...he broke a masterwork dagger on solid gold?? I'll assume the enchantments on her included a hardening effect...

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Raxon

Raxon




19th Jul 2014, 12:50 AM

Something like DR15, but any damage to her flesh layer is subdual damage, not lethal. The fleshy bits are more or less cosmetic, allowing her to be more gentle and soft. They grow back over time when damaged.

The gold, on the other hand... Yeah, she had all kinds of protective goodies enchanted into her as special add ons. Including an autosunder enchantment. Do not strike her with anything less than +3, because you will lose your favorite longsword.

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