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Page 520 in The Baratie
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Page 520


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Average Rating: 5
Number of people who have voted: 1


By the same author as Grand Line 3.5
Comments:

Malroth




21st Mar 2014, 1:32 AM

Mundane NPC using cannons/siege engines never work.

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Jeremias




21st Mar 2014, 2:00 AM

Actually, just in my last Pathfinder session mundane NPC hit and damaged a wyvern with a cannon on ship. Granted, the other one almost failed and hit me, but still.

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xuincherguixe

xuincherguixe




21st Mar 2014, 4:13 AM

I have a story that's the exact opposite of this strip!


In a Vampire the Masquerade game I would later join, a friend of mine was playing a Toreador. Magnificent Bastard/Bard sort of character.

These rebel vampires had invited the PCs to dinner, when all of the sudden they're under attack. So they sire them and leave them behind to buy themselves time.

Since their creation was not authorized, they have low status and it's not unreasonable that vampire society might go ahead and slay them. They are asked to go deal with those who created them.

Which was fine by his book, because he had sworn vengeance. See. His sire had said that his music was horrible and worthless.

And so he resolved that the last thing his sire would ever hear was a dirge.

At the time he had in his mind that this would be something that happens long term. His character was not a fighter. Squishy and weak. His target was a centuries old vampire.

It however happened that he found himself on the battlefield with his target. Along with a suitable instrument to play a killer bass solo.

Vampires. Not immune to cannons.

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DeS_tructive




21st Mar 2014, 4:49 AM

Unless you're playing under Elder rules, or to be more precise, dirty secrets of the Black Hand.
And suddenly, your groups Nagaraja (which should be a Vampire Death Mage, mind you) is taking a direct hit from a tank, and tearing it apart with his bare hands in the next turn.
Mental note: Do -not- invite Munchkins to Vampire the Masquerade. No need to break a broken system even further.

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Raxon

Raxon




21st Mar 2014, 6:01 AM

I prefer to munchkin werewolf the apocalypse.

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Malroth




21st Mar 2014, 8:55 PM

Even better Munchkining a Vampire the Masquerade/Werewolf the Apocolapse/Mage the Ascention/Changeling the Dreaming/Demon the Fallen mixed campaign where everybody is a different supernatural

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xuincherguixe

xuincherguixe




21st Mar 2014, 7:51 AM

Oh no. SOME Vampires are immune to cannons. But they aren't inherently so. Not even elders.

Don't count on it though.

And yeah. World of Darkness in general is trivial to break. There's not even any point to it. You'll probably even do so by accident.

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guy




30th Sep 2014, 2:16 PM

To quote buffy: "That was then. This is now."

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Raxon

Raxon




21st Mar 2014, 7:04 AM

I would like to tell a story about a character's practical immunity to an otherwise extremely lethal thing. That character is Raxon, and that extremely lethal thing is exsanguination. Since Raxon is physically connected to all his drones through some four dimensional bs, he has ungodly quantities of blood, which can be fired at a rate of ten pints a minute, and not be in danger for a minimum of six months. He has well over two million of these drones, so assuming a conservative one pint from each, we are talking about the ability to flood a small house, given time.

So, on to the story. Raxon got his ass kicked and captured, and he decides that he doesn't feel like teleporting. Nope. To wit: "Oh my goodness! Can it be? Oh boy! I've always wanted to play Red Chief!" I think anyone who is familiar with my stories can see where this is going. Raxon immediately becomes extremely bored and begins recording himself. "Final log entry. I have been captured. I don't have much time left. They may break me. They may kill me. I fear I may not be strong in the face of my imminent demise. If anyone finds this, think well of me. I was not the nicest hero. I had flaws, I was foolish and troublesome, but I had the best of intentions. Please tell my daughter that I love her. Goodbye."

Followed up ten minutes later by this: "Final final log entry. I don't know how much longer I can survive these torments. Their constant psychological torture wears away at my mind. There are no ponies here, only grief and pain. I have asked my captors of my fate. I don't like what I hear. To everyone I have let down, I'm sorry. Goodbye, and I love you all."

A couple days later...

"Super duper ultra final final final absolutely last one I really mean it this time you guys log entry. My poetic entreaties to my captors fail to sway their hearts. I go now to do the only thing left. I shall beg for mercy though the music of poetry one last time. If this fails, I fear I may succumb to the coward's way out. Naja, my dearest daughter, I love you. I'm sorry. I tried to be strong for you, but I couldn't. My torment was too great. Tell the others I am no longer suffering. I love you, and goodbye."

A short time later, Raxon intentionally shoves his leg into a powered door as it closes, and has the leg removed. He begins to bleed. And bleed. And bleed. Blood. Gets. Everywhere. It is spattered on everything. A week later, it's still spraying as hard as it was when the leg was first cut off. The criminals decide that prison doesn't smell anywhere near as bad as living in a place where everything has blood everywhere, and the stench of blood isn't in their nose every hour of every day. They have never seen anything as morose and depressing as this apparently psychotic man who now screams and sobs in agony every waking minute.

I think I deserve bonus XPs for making the actual evil terrorists an object of pity.

Yeah. Raxon can be one twisted bastard when he wants to be.

The kicker is that when they turned themselves in, the cops took one look at Raxon, and the state of their hideout, and decided that these people were abnormally dangerous psychopaths, if there was that much blood everywhere.

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xuincherguixe

xuincherguixe




21st Mar 2014, 7:50 AM

It's been my observation that the heroes are generally the scariest thing in the campaign.

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Raxon

Raxon




21st Mar 2014, 1:11 PM

To be fair, though, all of them were B List villains. No psychopaths or complete monsters among them. Had someone like the Joker been there, they would have found it terribly entertaining, and would have gleefully physically tortured Raxon because, hey, causing pain is awesome, and Raxon can't bleed to death! What kinds of horrible things can we do to him?

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Zero Jack




22nd Mar 2014, 7:31 PM
"Oh my!"

I just had a frightening thought. Has Raxon ever met the Joker?

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Raxon

Raxon




23rd Mar 2014, 12:09 AM

Yes, he has. The Joker interrupted Raxon's date. Raxon impersonated a Green Lantern, disarmed the Joker, and hung him by his underwear from atop the flagpole as Raxon forced him to listen to Raxon read the entire Gotham City Penal Code. And it was a fake Raxon reading to Joker, so that he could continue his date with Poison Ivy. (She lost a bet.)

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Neon Vincent




23rd Mar 2014, 3:03 PM
""Raxon can't bleed to death!""

In which case, your character would be great in a campaign comic for Bleach. The Shinigami can bleed gallons and still survive.

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Raxon

Raxon




23rd Mar 2014, 3:22 PM

Raxon made himself an imitation zanpakuto. He got a caduceus mace for a shikai, and his bankai was just a pair of winged snakes. They were anaconda sized snakes, but still just mundane snakes, except for being able to fly. They really weren't very impressive. That got left behind after he lost his tether and crashed in Gotham, where he was immediately recognized as something that should not be allowed where gotham level criminals can get hold of him in his critically wounded state.

And then batman set up an ICU in a separate bunker where Raxon could be kept safe, but still imprisoned, in case he was dangerous. With good reason, too.

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Neon Vincent




26th Mar 2014, 10:00 PM
"in case he was dangerous"

Raxon, of course you're dangerous. You can make your opponents laugh themselves to death.

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DalkonCledwin




22nd Mar 2014, 12:18 AM

So, what would have happened if One Piece and the Grand Line 3.5 were a E6 campaign instead of the obvious E20 campaign that it appears to be.

What this means is that in an E6 campaign the Maximum Level is set to 6 instead of having Epic Levels that start at 20 and continue well into the 30's.

For reference E6 was inspired by the article "Gandalf was only a Fifth Level Magic-User!" by Bill Seligman written in Dragon Magazine Issue #5 in March of 1977. Go look it up, but I have to wonder what would have happened if One Piece were set in an E6 world?

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Malroth




22nd Mar 2014, 2:07 AM

It would suck like every E6 everything

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Raxon

Raxon




22nd Mar 2014, 4:01 AM

Oh, come on, not everything in E6 sucks. My E6 Daria campaign idea is sure to be a hit! Who wouldn't want all the characters to be monotone, generic, author filibuster characters?

*Raxon's Note: I have never seen Daria, but I have heard the voice. In a show where the main character is bland and monotone, I just can't stand it. From what I've heard, Daria is an author mouthpiece, like Brian Griffon from Family Guy, aka the worst character ever in the show.

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xuincherguixe

xuincherguixe




22nd Mar 2014, 8:40 AM

I could go on a bit about Daria but I'll give the short version.

I did enjoy it at the time it was new. May not have aged well. Identified with her, but I was clearly the target audience.

She may have usually been "right", but she tended to get called out on a lot of things too.

The people around her were dumb but well intentioned. As opposed to being outright malicious.

I'd say it's interesting, but that's different than a recommendation.

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Raxon

Raxon




22nd Mar 2014, 4:36 PM

Gotcha. Not my cup of vodka. Also, that voice. It is the voice that makes serial killers.

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